


The Spectrum of Hate

by SumDumMuffin



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Depression, Explicit Language, F/F, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-22
Updated: 2015-10-26
Packaged: 2018-02-18 09:13:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2343083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SumDumMuffin/pseuds/SumDumMuffin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Parsee Mizuhashi is a spirit of jealousy bound to the only bridge between Gensoukyou and the uppermost layer of hell. She hates everything, especially a particularly persistent oni named Yuugi Hoshiguma she met one day who wont stop bugging her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meetings

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own any part of Touhou Project. Team Shanghai Alice does.
> 
> I claim no expertise in romantic relationships, sexual intimacy, emotional development, Japanese mythological creatures, Touhou canon, the geography of the world of Gensoukyou, or English grammar. I especially claim no expertise in the proper way to transcribe accents that may not even be canonical.
> 
> My first fic. :D.

Under the bridge between Gensyoukyou and the topmost layer of hell, Parsee Mizuhashi cried silently and hugged her knees and hated.

  
She hated that she was bound to a bridge for eternity. She hated sleeping in the damp, soggy dirt and she hated waiting for people she hated to walk across the bridge so she let them know she hated them.

  
She hated other people for having better things than her, for being better looking than her, for being stronger or smarter or swifter or nicer than her. She hated people who had any friends at all, because they had more friends than her. She hated that other people could go through life without hating everything.

  
Most of all she hated herself, for allowing her jealousy turn her into a creature defined by jealousy, and she hated how she could only see how people were better than her. She hated that the ability to bring out jealousy in others didn't give her any satisfaction. Her hatred was all based in jealousy, and everything came back to all the ways she was inadequate, and she hated that.

  
But today was a little different. She fumed in ineffectual rage at one specific person, an oni named Yuugi Hoshiguma who earlier today crossed Parsee's bridge.

  
Parsee had hated her from the moment she saw her; she was much taller than her, much taller than most denizens of Gensyoukyou even. She was in much better shape than most of the sentient creatures Parsee had seen. Her breasts were much larger than most. Her hair was a better shade of blonde than hers, and longer too. She had a magnificent red horn protruding from her forehead, and Parsee realized she had no distinguishing physical characteristics, except her stupid ears. Finally, the oni openly displayed the one thing Parsee coveted most of all: happiness.

  
The Youkai didn't even flinch when Parsee popped up and demanded a toll for crossing her bridge. She fucking smiled, and introduced herself, as Yuugi Hoshiguma the Oni, who was visiting the overworld to see friends. Friends. Mocking her with the flaunting of her friends.

  
And when she finally succeeded in stirring annoyance in the Oni, the traveler ranted about strength and bravery, and challenged her to a fight. Parsee accepted, because she knew how to fight but she lost. And the traveler had the nerve to thank her for the fight. How fucking patronizing.

  
And that was what, today specifically, Parsee hated. She stewed in her hatred in the dirt under her bridge, and she eventually hated herself to sleep.

 

//-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Parsee was relatively small; a little short and skinny in enough proportion that she didn't look like either, just a bit smaller in every dimension than the average human or youkai. Her hair was dirty blonde and shoulder length. Appropriately, she had green eyes. She had pointed ears, a side effect of becoming a Hashihime, perhaps, but she couldn't remember when she was human, so maybe she never was, and always had pointed ears. She slept but probably didn't need to and she could eat but usually didn't, usually didn't have anything to eat, and she was unclear on whether she was even able to die.

  
She was by the nature of her curse physically unable to stray far from the bridge. There was a mulberry bush on the road to Gensyoukyou she could barely walk around and a stump along the road to the underworld she couldn't walk past. She could walk sixty six paces along each side of the bank, but the bridge could shift locations along the circumference of the underworld, so functionally she had access to the entire bank of the river. This was her world, and she never venture beyond it.

  
Every day she would crawl up to the bridge between worlds that she guarded and gazed across the roads for travelers to hate. Today, she didn't have to wait long.

  
“You again?” spat Parsee. It was a new day, and the Oni who she hated the most was trying to cross her bridge again.

  
“That's the thing 'bout havin' only one bridge to the overworld, lassie,” grumbled the Oni, “Ya haff to cross it twice whene're ya go.”

  
Parsee pouted. She hated that other people were better at logic than her. “Well maybe you can stay there another night. With your friends.”

  
“Maybe I will, 'cause I actually haff friends.”

  
Parsee's face reddend in rage as she tried and failed to come up with a comeback.

  
The two women glared at each other, but Yuugi softened first. “Look, I dinnae mekan ta pry, but ya could have friends if ya just give people a chance.”

  
“Who says I want friends? You don't know me.”

  
“Arite, arite, my mistake. It's just that when it came up ya twitch yer nostril's all angry like.”

  
Parsee blushed in anger again and became aware that, yes, her nostrils did twitch when that happened, and again couldn't find an appropriate response.

  
“Look, can ya let me pass? I'll fight ya if'n I haff to, but I'm a bit tired, and there's no honour in curbstompin' the same foe o'er and o'er again.”

  
“Oh, you think you can beat me again?” Parsee put her fists up in front of her theatrically.

  
The oni almost laughed, “Honestly, yeah. Yer not bad, but yer not quite up to mah level.”

  
Parsee twitched her nostrils. She knew the oni was right, and she hated that. She had lost this stupid pissing contest, and she should really just let the woman cross the stupid bridge.

  
“Fine.” she said, feeling tears well up in her eyes. “You may pass. Just like that. Just this once. Don't ask me again.” She turned her to head back under the bridge, shielding her eyes in the crux of her arm. The absolute last thing she wanted was for this asshole to see her cry. “Go,” she managed to say.

  
She waited until she couldn't hear the woman's footsteps fade and she let loose the floodgates to her tearducts. She hadn't even put up a fight for that traveller. Most of the time she could get some sort of toll, and for the more powerful denizens of the world she'd at least mildly inconvenience them.

  
“Hey, lassie, look,” she heard a woman say.

  
It was Yuugi. Of course it was Yuugi. Parsee yelped, and turned away, wiping her face on her sleeve.

  
“I wasn't crying,” she said.

  
“O' course ya weren't.”

  
“Whatever you think you thought you saw, you're wrong. I wasn't crying.”

  
The oni gave a weak smile. “Okay.”

  
“I wasn't.”

  
“I believe ya.”

  
Parsee finished drying her face. “What do you want?” she snapped.

  
“I realize I forgot to pay a toll, today nor yesterday.”

  
“No, you didn't.” Parsee glared. What was she talking about, yesterday? She had won that fight, so she didn't have to pay the toll. What an idiot.

  
“So I'll tell ya what. I'll go home and get ya a jug of the finest sake Oni have to offer. That should cover it, right?”

  
“Fine.” Parsee didn't know or care what sake was. She agreed because she thought it'd make this asshole leave faster.

  
The asshole smiled, again. “Great! Ah'll be right back.” She left, for real this time, and didn't return for a couple of hours.

  
Parsee hated her as she left, and hated how the Oni obviously pitied her, and lied about seeing her cry. But, she realized, this was the first timesomeone had voluntarily offered to give her something. And she guessed in certain light that pretending not to see her cry might be construed by some people as possibly not-mean. She realized she didn't entirely hate that. She only mostly hated that.

 

//-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Later that day, Parsee saw the stupid Oni saunter up the pallid sandswept road from the underworld with a large ceramic jug held by a few lengths of red twine. Parsee hid on the withered remains of a tree nearby.

  
“Hey, uhh, lassie!” yelled Yuugi to the empty bridge. “I have yer toll! And I realize I fergot to ask yer name.”

  
Parsee almost responded to that, but kept her tongue while the Oni searched around the bridge with no avail. Haha, sucker.

  
After what seemed like an eternity the oni gave up and set the jug down. She fiddled with it for a moment, it looked like, and she rather dejectedly walked back towards the underworld.

  
Parsee hid on the tree until she was sure the oni wouldn't double back and surprise her, Parsee scurried over to the jug. There was a hastily scrawled note on the top. Some sort of apology, perhaps. Parsee crumpled it without reading it.

  
It was apparent the jug contained some sort of liquid, and there were two shallow wooden cups tied to the outside, so sake was apparently some sort of liquid intended to be drunk.

  
“Stupid oni. Why would I need two cups?” Parsee threw one of them after the note.

  
She uncorked the jug, and poured 'the finest sake Oni had to offer' into the remaining cup. It tasted a little bitter, and a little bit like rice, and it burned her throat as she swallowed it. Parsee found she rather liked it. Is this what Oni drank? They must have a lot of it, if they have enough to give to random bridge strangers. She hated the idea of that.

  
She drank another cupful and stewed in her jealousy. Her head started feeling fuzzy, and she passed out soon after she finished the jug.

 

//-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

For the third day in a row Parsee's regular routine of hate was interrupted by something new and amazing to hate. Today, she hated how her head felt like it had split down the middle and her stomach felt like two colonies of worms had burrowed into it and started a brutal war of annihilation. She felt the need to physically check both to see that neither feeling was literal, but doing so made both feel worse.

  
The pain wouldn't go away, it actually might be getting worse. She was poisoned, and she was going to get another chance to test her mortality in the most agonizing way possible. The sun peaked in from the verdant side of her bridge and its light stung her eyes. Parsee wasn't going to be able to correctly guard the bridge like this, so she crawled back into her dirt hole, in the dusk, and tried to hate herself to sleep.

 

//-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

She awoke to footsteps above her. Well, she mostly awoke to an accented contralto calling for 'lassie' or 'bridge-lady', and the tremors through her skull the sound seemed to cause.

  
Parsee weakly dragged herself in the dirt to the edge of the bridge and peaked over the edge. The oni from earlier was stomping along the bridge.

  
“You!” spat Parsee.

  
“Me?” said the oni in the most insufferable manner possible. Even her voice hurt Parsee's ears. Parsee clutched her head for a moment for the pain to lessen. It did only a tiny amount.

  
“What did you do to me?” murmured the bridge spirit.

  
“What did I- Oh no.” The oni found the empty jug, “Tell me ya dinnae drink all of it?”

  
Parsee's stomach churned, a delayed reaction to crawling on her stomach in the dirt. She turned her head towards the river of souls and vomited the contents of her stomach onto the rocky shore.

  
“Ah Zun, that's not good,” Parsee heard the oni say as she fell back into unconsciousness.

 

//-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Parsee regained consciousness and realized she was feeling good enough to hate things other than the immediate pain. She still felt awful, though. Her head was on something soft, and her body was wrapped in something. A pillow and a blanket. Strange.

  
“Ah good. Yer up,” came a voice from her side. The oni woman was here again. Damn.

  
The oni put a large hand behind Parsee's head and propped her up. With her other hand she pressed the rim of a shallow wooden cup to the hungover girl's lips.

  
“This'll help,” she said.

  
Parsee was in no condition to resist, or even argue, so she allowed the Oni to help her drink some sort of greenish liquid with leaves in it. The larger woman poured a few more cupfuls from a gourd by her side.

  
“Yer dehydrated. That's why yer head hurts so. We call it a hangover. If''n ya temper yer alcohol intake ya can avoid tha real nasty ones, but no one e'er does. So our civilization developed lotsa hangover cures.”

  
Parsee wanted to point out that that was stupid, but her head still throbbed.

  
When she finally got her strength up, the first thing she did was grab the cup from the Oni and wave her away. “I don't- I don't need your help,” she spat, and she started trying to stand.

  
“Hey,” soothed the Oni, “Not e'eryone's strong. No shame in it, 's long as ya accept it.”

  
“I'm not a weakling!” Parsee threw off the blanket and stood up, all in one go, which didn't help her head at all. She pushed the oni away when she tried to stabilize her.

  
Parsee stumbled a few times, getting scratching her arms and her face for her trouble, but she got to the edge of the river. The water was greyish-blue and the translucent wisping souls of the dead moaned in helpless despair as they were swept along by the current. The river flowed slowly, and steadily here, and it had no bottom.

 

“Yer really going to drink that?”

  
So annoying. Parsee tried to put the oni out of her mind and scooped a bowl of river water into the cup. She brushed a couple souls out of it and drank it.

  
The water was a little dirty and a little ethereal, but it seemed to help, and after a few mouthfuls Parsee's head stopped throbbing as much so she pulled up a rock and lay by the side of the river.

  
The oni walked down and tried to pull her to her feet, but Parsee swatted her away. She took a seat behind the hungover girl but was visibly uncomfortable on the rocks. Parsee could hear her shift and grunt as she sat down, but soon there was nothing to listen to but her own labored breathing. She focused on that as the throbbing in her head subsided.

  
“So what's yer name?” eventually said the oni. She spoke softer now, all too familiar with hangovers.

  
Parsee gritted her teeth and said nothing. The oni didn't say anything either, and after a while Parsee decided it wouldn't hurt to tell the woman her name, so she did, and got a reintroduction from the oni, Yuugi Hoshigum, and yes she remembered her from literally two days ago. What's more, Parsee had to listen to some excruciating smalltalk about it. No, she didn't know if it was Persian. She didn't even know where Persia was.

  
Yuugi seemed to sense she didn't care about her names nomenclature, thank Zun, so she started blathering about herself. She was an oni, which you could tell because of the horn and the muscles and the accent, and she liked to fight, because oni. She used to be one of the Four Heavenly Kings of the Mountain before Gensyoukyou broke off from the world and the Mountain ceased to be a meaningful social construct. Whatever that meant. Parsee didn't know or care much for history.

  
Yuugi confided that she really didn't mind. The lack of responsibility was a relief, and a more ephemeral version of the power and status she once wielded could be gained with a good trouncing. Yuugi was pretty good at fighting herself, she admired those who took the time or had the talent for it, and it was the best and quickest way to get to know someone, if you knew how to go about it.

  
A lot of oni culture revolved around fighting, she regaled, and their durability meant there were no hard feelings. Humans trying to enter the topmost layer of hell had to be pretty durable too, and Yuugi spoke of random witches and priestesses who occasionally ventured into the charnel hellscape to swap drinks and stories and sometimes spit.

  
With an embarrassed smile and a hand behind the head Yuugi revealed that she wasn't exactly employed at the moment. She helped out around the ancient city in the various farms, sometimes did general construction and repairs, other times performed the necessary roles in situations requiring modicums of violence, and wielded some political clout whenever oni society needed to be organized enough to require something resembling a leader.

  
Yuugi carried the conversation into the night, occasionally pausing in case Parsee wanted to take a turn with an anecdote or a personal info snippet or maybe even a joke, because the Hashihime wasn't laughing at Yuugi's jokes. Eventually she ran out of words, smiled awkwardly, and got up to leave.

  
“Why?” said Parsee, speaking for the first time since the stories began. Her voice was raspy and uncertain.

  
“Huh?”

  
“Why did you come back?”

  
Yuugi put a hand behind her head and grinned sheepishly. “Drinks are meant to be shared, so I thought we might haff a drink with the rest o' tha sake. Talk a bit. Ya know.” Parsee eyed the discarded ceramic jug and felt an emotion she didn't recognize. Whatever it was, she didn't like it.

  
“And since I wasn't clear on my note that t'was meant for two people it's my fault ya got yerself sick.”

  
Parsee didn't know how to respond to that. Some of it didn't make sense, and she wanted to point that out, and she wanted to rebuke the subtext of pity. But resentful silence seemed to come naturally to her, so that was what she stuck with.

  
The oni turned around, and Parsee crooked her head to look at her. “Well, ah'll get outta yer hair now, Parsee,” said the oni. She gave a backwards nonchalant wave she obviously thought was really cool.

  
Idiot.

  
Parsee watched Yuugi walk into the yellowing twilight. She crawled back under the bridge and arranged her sleeping area. She had a bedroll now, and she made full use of that fact, even if she wasn't going to admit it to anyone. For the first time since she could remember she didn't cry herself to sleep.


	2. Picnic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuugi decides someone should do something nice for the local angry bridge princess. Parsee decides she's willing to give this 'friendship' thing a chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own any part of Touhou Project. Team Shanghai Alice does.
> 
> I claim no expertise in romantic relationships, sexual intimacy, emotional development, Japanese mythological creatures, Touhou canon, the geography of the world of Gensoukyou, or English grammar. I especially claim no expertise whether or not oni or youkai should be capitalized.

Yuugi sat at a cornerside restaurant. An older oni woman fried some noodles on a trashcan fire behind a makeshift concrete table. The streets were wide, originally meant for more than just pedestrians but nowadays never ferried more than wanderers and rickshaws. The streets were covered in cracks, like a shattered mirror, with weeds poking through at every opportunity. The roadside shack itself was a hodgepodge of debris and amateur woodwork; Yuugi had just finished helping propping it up. Her noodles were her payment.

Next to her sat a smaller Oni, objectively smaller, not just in relation to hulking Yuugi. She had two brown horns that began at her temples and curved above her head. She regularly took a swig from a drinking gourd she carried, and the flushed, manically contented expression on her face clued in anybody observing that the gourd didn't contain water.

The noodle chef and Yuugi exchanged thank-yous and thoughts about the stability of the local houses, but throughout Yuugi was on autopilot. Her mind was on the previous day, and all the nuances of a chat with a sad bridge youkai.

Someone should do something nice for Parsee, she thought. Nobody should be so constantly miserable, especially when on the precipice of a land of perpetual parties and the greenest ghibli glens in existence.

Yuugi pondered and pondered, but the only conclusion she came to was that thinking was not her strong suit. She sighed and slurped her noodles.

But there was the answer! Funny how ya can find solutions right when ya give up, amirite?

Food. While not sufficient for happiness, food was very necessary to it and acted as a catalyst and amplifier to such an end. Food was the great unifyer, the ultiamate ice-breaker, the doorway

She'd have to ditch her best friend, though.

“So I'm gonna go up ta tha surface world later today, Suika. Need anything?”

“Dintcha just go last week?” Suika wore a dopey grin and wobbled on her stool.

“Yeah, but I uh, need to see Eirin for some hangover cures.”

“Nah, ya don't- ya don't need no cures for that. Ya just gotta practice -practice holdin' ya lick- liquor.”

“So ya don't need anything?”

Suika pondered dopily. “Yeah, but I'll go witcha. I owe Tenshi a visit.”

Yuugi raised an eyebrow, “She hasn't gotten sick o' ya yet?” she teased. She tried to think of snide remark. Probably about how the two of them were literally an angel and a demon and it'd never work out. You know, a playful way to try to talk her out of a big mistake.

Suika's face turned a slightly darker shade of red as her dopey smile grew dopey-er. She giggled through a hiccup.

“Ya know,” Yuugi began, and realized she hadn't come up with the rest of her pun. Something about heaven and hell maybe? Screw it, honesty is a virture for a reason. “I might reconsider that thar course of action.”

“ What?”

“You know, about Tenshi,”

“What about Tenshi?” Suiki sensed the tone of Yuugi's voice. Her own posture and tone got defensive.

“It's just, on tha axis of good an evil, ah, Tenshi's sort of a literal servant of heaven.”

“That has nothin' to do our relationship.”

“No? How does she feel about yer own predilections?”

Suika frowned. “She loves me for who ah am."

"How does she feel about all the people you've murdered?”

“I haven't done that in forever.”

“An' the debacuhery? The violence as a way o' life? How does she feel about the fact that yer literally constantly drunk?”

Suika made a grab at Yuugi's collar. “Me? What 'bout choo?”

Yuugi shoved her away. Both of them stood up from their stools. The restaurant owner quietly sunk below the counter.

“Ya know I don't care 'bout that, but doncha think Tenshii would have a bit of an issue wit yer lifestyle choices? Thars no way it's gonna work out."

Suika tackled the larger woman. They tumbled though a nearby remains of a building. Suika swung a fist that hit much, much harder than it had any right to, which was completely normal.

Yuugi took the blow in stride and elbowed Suika in the back before grappling her in preparation for a throw. They were both old and powerful oni. Suika's powers could be useful in a fight, but that meant Yuugi had to learn to fight without a crutch.

Suika turned to mist, leaving Yuugi grappling nothing but air. The mist swirled out the broken windows into the streets.

The sides of the building cracked. The entire building uprooted itself to reveal Suika, now 15 meters tall. The giant Oni hefted the building a few more meters into the air befor slamming it down on top of Yuugi.

Yuugi dived out the remains of a window, shattering wooden planks and sending small amounts of glass into the streets. Taking advantage of how low Suika's arms were as they were smashing a building she jumped onto one, clawing into Suikas forearm as she climbed up to her upper arm.

Suika sloppily swatted at the smaller Oni, bellowing angry grunts and drunken hiccups that shook nearby infrastructure. Yuugi eventually reached Suika's face and started punching her in the bridge of her nose.

Suika opened her palm and slapped herself right in the face. Yuugi had fallen off before her hand connected. Yuugi smirked as Suika tumbled over backwards, her nose bleeding.

Suika mystified before she hit the ground though. Yuugi put her hands up and looked around, trying to anticipate where Suika was going to attack next.

She waited for a while, walking cautiously into the middle of the street to try to avoid building collapse tactics.

She waited.

And waited.

And then she realized she was standing in a shadow.

A 15 meter tall 2000 kilogram Suika elbow dropped right onto Yuugi, kicking up a cloud of cement and dirt as she struck.

Yuugi was out of the fight. She was dazed and lying spread eagle in the middle of a small crater.

“What's wit cha?” said Suika, wiping tears from her eyes as she shrunk to normal size. “Some best friend yer being.”

That hurt Yuugi more than the knock out blow. She didn't know what to say, or what brought on her recent belligerence. The two friends had certainly fought before but over legitimate things like land and What brought that on? Why did she care about her best friends doomed relationship anyway? Why was she thinking so much about Suika's love life anyway? Why did the thought of Suika having a relationship not sit well with her?  
Dammit, this was jealousy, wasn't it? Such an ugly emotion. However, once Yuugi figure this out, she took a deep breath and resolved to get a great apology present for Suika sometime. Maybe a rowdy party. They'd invite Tenshii. Yeah.  
The noodle woman calmly walked over to Yuugi's crater. She kneeled slightly and offered her hand to the defeated Oni. “Young lady,” she said, “Do you think you could help me with some housing repairs?”

 

//-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Parsee lay under the bridge between Gensoukyou and the underworld on her new bedroll and cluched her blanket and hated and hated.

So this is normal people slept on? Every night? This was much more comfortable than gravel and dirt. Fuck those normal assholes and their normal comfortable amenities. She decided she hated normal people even more for not having to sleep in the dirt, on rocks.

Although, it was nice of Yuugi to give these for her. She'd have to pay her back, because she would be caught dead being in debt to another person. Especially one as insufferable as her. She decided she hated Yuugi for pitying her and for being stronger and prettier than her and oh yes for wasting her time yesterday.

Like, she just prattled on and on about her stupid life forever. What an idiot.

But the previous day kept running through her head, new exciting stories about things Parsee could be jealous of. Friends, parties, respect.  
But not hangovers. Fuck those things.

Eventually, Parsee mustered up the boredom to get out of her bed and look down the bridge for people to hate.

Eventually, in the late afternoon judging by the angle of the escaped rays from Gensoukyou, an oni stumbled up the road from the Ancient City. She was slightly smaller than Parsee, which brought a modicum of cruel glee to the Hashihime. The oni also seemed inebriated, and she had two brown horns that started at her temples and curved above her head. She carried a bag larger than she was on her back with one hand. Her other held a drinking gourd.

Parsee could smell the disgusting stench of love on the Oni. As the small woman got closer, Parsee could smell the stench of alcohol on her, but that was with her physical nose. When the Oni got to the bridge Parsee pulled herself to the edged of the bridge and flipped over the railings.

“Halt,” she said, trying not to sound petulent. “There is a price to pass between worlds, in toll or in combat.”

The oni burped and assumed a fighting stance. Parsee responded in kind, and prepared a danmaku bolt. However, the Oni relaxed and gave a weary smile.

“I'm trying to be a better person, see?” she mumble-slurred. “Trying not to, not to be so violent. Tryin' to, to be worthy~” she rummaged through her pack. “What's the toll?”

Parsee frowned. Not that it was called for; the situation was going better than she had dared to hope, but she was at a loss for a more appropriate expression. Were there even other expressions? She guessed that and didn't call for a frown, but she was at a loss for a more appropriate expression.  
Parsee remembered what Yuugi had given her. And she remembered the terrible hangover, but you just had to drink lots of water to avoid that, right?  
She turned to the petite woman. “You are an Oni, right? Do you have sake?”

The oni blinked twice and then laughed heartily. “I gots all tha sake in tha world, lassie, and ah can fill anythin' ya wants.”

She dropped her pack on the bridge and walked down to the edge of the river, beckoning Parsee to follow her. Parsee brought the jug Yuugi had given her.

The oni shook her gourde. “This here magical device turns water into sake,” she said. She dipped it in the river, cupping her hand around the opening to prevent errant souls from getting in. It only took a couple moments to completely fill Parsee's ceramic jug.

The Oni bid a drunken goodbye to the bridge princess and wobbled off to the overworld. Parsee didn't know what to say, so she went with silence and a glare.

 

//-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Parsee sat under her bridge, feeling strangely ok with how the previous encounter went.

So she had some more sake. She should drink it.

Drinks are meant to be shared. She remembered Yuugi saying. And when full this container was more than enough for one person.

Well, Parsee did know at least one other person....

Parsee shifted the location of the bridge. Now it was in harrowing cavern. Massive stalactites hung off a distant roof like wicked teeth. Sunlight peaked in from the direction of Gensoukyou.

“The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout,” sang a girl, in the distance.

Parsee looked over the edge of her bridge. Upstream there was a bucket with a girl in it floating in the stream. Only her head poked out of the bucket. She, and the bucket, spun around in circles as the current carried her towards Parsee's bridge. The bucket girl's hair was cyan and had two tails tied off with red ball ties. She had a childish smile on her face as she sung.

“Hey, Kisume!” beckoned Parsee.

Somehow the bucket girl stopped moving downstream. She spun to face Parsee and her smile vanished. “Oh. Hey Parsee.”

“So, uh,” began Parsee. She tried to look friendly. “What are you doing?”

“Oh, you know. Just visiting Yamame. Speaking of which, I really should get going,” Kisume began drifting again, spinning away from Parsee as she did.

“Wait! Uh, would you like some sake? With me?”

“Huh,” replied the bucket girl anxiously, “um, thanks for the offer, but once you've had Oni sake, you really can't go back to the regular stuff, so I'll pass this time, thanks.” She started spinning away from the bridge princess and resumed floating downstream.

“Well, you're in luck because this is Oni sake.” Parsee shook her ceramic jug.

Kisume stopped again and cogitated for an excruciating moment.

“We can invite Yamame.” Parsee bargained.

Kisume forced a smile. “You know what, why not? I'll let her know.” She waved her hand and a blue ball of fire appeared in the air. She whispered into it and it floated upwards, towards downstream.

Kisume floated to the bank. She stood up and stepped out of her bucket, picked it up by its handle and carried it towards where Parsee sat. Parsee offered her bedroll to sit on, but Kisume declined and instead sat her bucket down and descended waist deep into it.

“I uh, only have one cup,” Parsee said, slightly reddening in embarrassment. She really should have thought this through more. “My bad.”

Kisume, however, seemed to be willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. “No biggie,” she said, descending deeper into her bucket. Soon she dissappeared completely. “I have enough for Yamame and me,” came her voice from the bucket. It sounded far away.

Parsee pondered trying to peak into Kisume's bucket. It must be nice having a home you could carry with you. Hell, it must be nice having a home at all.

Kisume soon popped out with two shallow porcelain bowls. They were intrinsically decorated, each depicting the same tree in different seasons. She put the one depicting autumn to the side and, with both hands, held out the cup to Parsee.

Parsee thought she knew the correct form and etiquette involved in serving sake. Maybe she thought correctly. She managed to fill Kisume's cup without spilling anything, and if she messed up Kisume didn't mention anything. She just nodded and started drinking.

Parsee poured her own cup and took a sip. There was the familiar, bitter taste of rice and the burning sensation of her throat.

Both Youkai took a couple sips before Kisume tried to break the silence.

“So not a lot of humans trying to cross your bridge recently?” ventured the bucket youkai.

What was that supposed to mean? “None that can't fight or pay the toll. I remember our agreement, though, so don't worry. The unworthy go downstream.”

“Awesome,” said Kisume. She took a sip. “Speaking of food, though, what do you say we serve some snacks at this party?”

“Ummm,” began Parsee, “What kind of snacks?”

“Probably just cake. I might have some crackers,” Kisume said.

“If you insist,” said Parsee.

Kisume procured a couple of cracker packages, one of them already open. She procured a carrot cake, slightly lopsided and smattered with white frosting, and a jar of home-made jelly. From Yamamae, she explained. Parsee avoided the jam, but ate a couple crackers and, when offered, a slice of the cake. She didn't have regular access to food, so they sat strangely in her stomach.

In addition to the food and alcohol, the two youkai shared some chit-chat and some awkward silence.

After a while Parsee wondered if social interaction was always this excruciatingly awkward. She had no idea what she was supposed to be doing.

 

_“A bucket and a bridge princess,_

_Invited me for drinks_

_A pleasant little pic-a-nic,_

_Along the river's brink,”_ recited a woman, from above.

 

She had dirty blonde hair and wore a brown dress. She hung upside-down from a long silken thread that presumably attacked to the distant ceiling. Her dress flared out around the knees but came in at her ankles, giving the appearance of a spider's abdomen. Which was rather appropriate, Parsee thought. Out from the bottom of the blonde woman's dress sprouted four brown hairy spider legs and two pale hairless human legs that moved to silently lower the woman along the thread that suspended her.

“I came up with that on the way here. How was it?” said the spider woman.

“Needs work,” replied Kisume. They two bickered for a few sentences before sharing a laugh.

Parsee smiled awkwardly. No doubt it was one of those 'inside jokes'. She wanted one of those and the friends with which to have those with so bad.

“Yamame's taken to rhyming as a way to while away the years,” explained Kisume, noticing Parssee's expression and drawing the wrong conclusion, “Because she doesn't have much else to do. She can't go hunting all the time.”

“Speaking of which, was I supposed to bring a little morsel?” she waved at the sake and the cake. “I wish you told me sooner that we'd be having dinner on the riverbank. Food's a little sparse. ”

Was that a “I'm sorry I haven't been delivering any humans, Yamame,” said Parsee as neutrally as she could.

“Hey, no worries,” said Yamame, still upside down, “Cake is sufficiently delicious. And I have a stock of meat liquefying in my pantry. And I can always go hunting if need be.”

“I see,” said Parsee. Kisume and Yamame looked at her, both smiling. Probably expecting her to say something.

Parsee tried. She really did. But what was there to talk about?

Kisume and Yamame shared another look. They then began talking about random things on Gensoukyou. Remilia's upcoming ball. Who Marisa was romantically entangled with at the moment. And then about things that had a modicum of relevance to the bridge princess. Renovations in the Ancient city were coming along. Apparently one of Satori's pets had a meltdown. Parsee didn't care much for any of it, and she spent a lot of the time staring into her cup. Kisume had better cups than her. But not, she thought to herself, better cups than her, if you knew what she meant. She chortled fiendishly at that thought.

Kisume and Yamame looked at each other yet again and then awkwardly smiled at the bridge princess. Parsee was about to tell them off for judging her or whatever when the spider youkai spoke.

“So Parsee,” said Yamame, “Anyone interesting cross your bridge recently?"

Parsee stretched her mouth a bit before barking a wicked guffaw. This topic was something she could get in to. “Well, just the other day this asshole Oni came up from the Ancient City...”

 

//-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Yuugi smiled as she prepared her picnic arrangements. With all the years of life behind her she had gotten relatively good at certain recipes, and now she was preparing her underworld-famous peach and chicken stir-fry.

Her bindle was the customary red with white polka-dots. It already contained a few loafs of bread, a jar of jam, a container of butter. Some silverware. A few dried chunks of beek jerky. Some apples. And of course, a container of sake.

There was a knock at her door. It was Satori Komeji, the de-facto leader of the local leagues of Former Hell, by virtue of being the most powerful person around. The undyingly loyal underlings also of unreasonable power didn't hurt either. So of course Yuugi couldn't decline when Satori asked her to help clean up one of her pets' nuclear meltdowns off in some bleached underworld field. It was an accident, Satori regaled, but the radiation wouldn't leave the ground for thousands of years if they not dealt with, and while they could wait that long their human serfs wouldn't, and they had the troublesome tendency to die when in contact with it, which impacted productivity and morale and would cause all sorts of bothers. But if all the Oni's everyone pitched in it should get cleaned up by this evening.

Satori left smiling. Yuugi headed to her closet to grab a set of clothes she wouldn't mind getting covered in mud or nuclear waste. Before she left her house she glanced at the bindle on her kitchen and sighed. This wouldn't take long, she hoped.

It turned out that the irradiated farm on the edge of the Ancient city was really on the edge of the ancient city. It was a long walk, past several other farms even, and the crater that Yuugi guessed used to be a potato farm was much wider than she had hoped would be. Already the red underworld sun was starting to set and the brisk, hellish air was chilling.

Satori was picking at a few rocks. She had pink hair and a third eye. Not on her face; just flopping around on four long tentdrils that attached to her wrists and ankles. A two-tailed cat was pawing at the earth a little ways away, and a tall girl with black raven wings and a green bow occasionally tried to help but would always get yelled at by Satori and embarassedly kick pieces of the ground.

“So Satori,” said Yuugi as she decontaminated another pile of irradiated earth.

“What's up?” said the satori. For some reason, Satori was named after her species. Yuugi never asked about it. The world was a wonderful, whimsical, and most of all weird, crammed with uncanny coincidences and facts stranger than fiction. She didn't presume to be able to comprehend even a small part of it (like say, for example, how Satori managed to change clothes when some sort of tendrils snaked out of her wrists and ankles into a disembodied eyeball. Yuugi also never asked about that.), and she didn't desire to, for the world was beautiful in its ineffability.

But that didn't mean that ignorance was noble. Satori carved an empire on the exact opposite idea, actually. And in this case, ignorance was terrible, and almost painful.

“What do ya know 'bout the guardian of the bridge to the overworld?”

“Oh, Parsee Mizuhashi?”

“Uh, yeah."

Satori raised an eyebrow. “Why do you want to know about Parsee Mizuhashi?”

“Uhh,” replied the Oni, “No reason.”

“I can read your mind you know."

“What 'bout my mind? Are ya casting aspersions t'wards ma intellect, Satori?”

Satori waved the air in front of her. “Not at all. Forget about it.”

Yuugi wondered if she was literally supposed to forget about it. It seemed well within the possibility for a psychic whose primary powers were mind control.

“Okuu! You've done enough already! Let Rin, Yuugi, and I do this!” shouted the pink-haired psychic. Satori turned back to Yuugi. “So Parsee Mizuhashi. She's guarded the bridge since Gensoukyou broke off from the world. So pretty much forever.”

“Huh. I thought she was new. Why dint I ever see her before?”

“Did you cross the bridge before?” asked Satori. Yuugi recalled the times she did. During each remembrance Satori explained the series of coincidences that precluded meeting the Hashinime. The first time she and Suika crossed at night, both going and coming, specifically to avoid a fight. The second time Okuu went ahead to distract her while the rest of the party snuck past. On the way back Rin played decoy. The third time was last week-

Yuugi then began trying to connect three dots each to three lines without crossing connections.

“Something embarrassing?” said Satori, smirking.

Ya see, ya couldn't do it, because one of them would get encircled by the other two.

“If'n it's all okay with you, Satori,” said Yuugi, a hint of annoyance in her voice, “Ah'll thank ya fer yer information and git on wit my own thing.”  
“Fine then, don't tell me. But I would recommend against befriending her. She...”

But, thought Yuugi, maybe you could circle around one of the dots and attack the line to the other side. Satori was still talking, so she continued piecing the logic puzzle out in her head. At one point she thought she solved it, but when she drew it out in the dirt it turned out she neglected one of the lines. Yuugi laughed to and at herself. She realized Satori wasn't trying to read her mind and she could think about Parsee again.

But it only brought melancholy as she realized her picnic likely wouldn't happen, as the de-radiation would likely take the rest of the day. And it did, and it went into the night, eventually ending right before dusk, and all the while Yuugi couldn't shake the feeling that she was the only one who was actually able to detoxify nuclear fallout, and the other three were just trying to look busy.

 

 //-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“...and then I said 'Why, I happen to know a shortcut to the underworld', and killed her.”

Yamame and Kisume broke into laughter, and Parsee joined them a second later, although Parsee's laugh was a little uncertain. Was she doing this right? Kisume and Yamame didn't seem to notice, but perhaps they were being polite.

Parsee had just finished telling them of the last few humans to try to cross her bridge. She was running out of stories, but perhaps that was okay, because he sake and the cake were almost all gone. This picnic was a success, perhaps.

Yamame was a little red in the face, and Kisume more so. The bucket Youkai hiccuped every couple of minutes and was now cuddling one of Yamame's giant hairy spider legs.

“Well, thank you very much for this little soiree, Parsee,” said Yamame.

“Yeah, it was tons of fun!” said Kisume.

Parsee's mouth wobbled. There was a facial expression for this occasion, but she couldn't think of what it was at the moment.

Kisume and Yamame brought thier faces together and whispered something. Yamame wound a thread around Kisume's bucket's handle and with her extra spider legs shimmied both of them into the air.

Parsee caught a few whispered flirtations and cheesy one-liners as the two ascended out of sight. Probably to Yamame's nest hung among the stalactites of this area of the barrier.

That's right. They were in a _relationship_. Bah.

Parsee shook her head. She was in a good mood from her first successful picnic. Who cares if those two assholes were going off to have more fun together. They were probably going to french kiss or something gross. Blech. That was one thing she definitely wasn't jealous of, Parsee told herself as she drank from the river and lay down to sleep.

 

//-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Yuugi woke up that day on the first try. When you didn't have much to do besides drink with friends, it lent towards a rather lazy existence, so Yuugi enjoyed the random social events, volunteer jobs and apocalyptic crises when they happened.

And today's social event was going to be a picnic. She was going to bring happiness into this world. She was going to make a troubled little bridge princess smile.

The stir-fry would have to be remade. A little hastily, out of excitement and expectation. And Yuugi resolved that if Satori needed anything today she'd slam the door in her face and let the underworld slowly discorporate in nuclear decay.

The bridge between worlds was empty when she got there. She had to stick around a bit for Parsee to pop out.

“Hey Pars,” she said, smiling the biggest smile she could. “I wish ta cross yer bridge, if'n you'd let me, and I haff mah toll,”

Parsee turned to the ground a, her face reddend slightly. “The bedroll,” she said. “And the blanket. I owe you. Those cover two crossings. And then my debt to you will be repaid."

Yuugi cogitated, idly hefting the ceramic jar of sake and adjusted the picnic bindle. What was the second best way for her to suggest they have a little picnic?

“What are you waiting for, you idiot? Cross the fucking bridge already.”

Yuugi panicked a little inside. So she did what she was told and crossed the bridge. She walked across the length of the bridge and took one step into Gensoukyou. The air was different. Fresher, perhaps, though the undrerworld had its own plants and own air circulation. Perhaps it was the color, or perhaps something that influenced both the color and the smell, because Gensoukyou had a unique smell. No sense wondering, though. If she had to describe it she would describe it as a green smell, while the underworld was painted with a pallet of yellows and browns and oranges, and it smelled  
Even this close to the divide between worlds birds chirped and insects buzzed. There was a speck of blue darting around the edge of her vision, and Yuugi realized a bluebird had made a nest in a nearby tree. It's babies chirped softly as the mother flitted about.

The cobblestones were largely overgrown, but the road was still distinguishable. It snaked into some rolling hills with sparse forest, and further beyond the horizon.

And with that, Yuugi turned around in place and crossed the bridge again.

Parsee stared in disbelief, her mouth open and her eyes furious.“What the fuck are you doing?” she spat.

Yuugi's smile faltered, but only for a second. “I just wanted ta take a breath of the overworld. It's very nice, Ah'm sure you've noticed.”

“Whats that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing. It's just that yer lucky to to live next ta both Gensoukyou and Former Hell.”

Parsee quivered. “Stop it,” she whispered.

“Huh?”

Parsee looked up. Tears marred her eyes and her hands were clenched into fists. “Stop making fun of me!” she screamed.

Yuugi recoiled. “Pars, no, I didn't mean-”

“Shut up! Just cross the stupid bridge. I said your toll was paid.”

“But-”

"GO!"

"I dint-"

“GO AWAY!”

Yuugi loitered at the edge of the bridge for another second, biting her lip. She got a teary, broken whimper and a rock to the head for her trouble.  
Yuugi then left, rubbing her head, her spirit sullied and her heart dashed, leaving Parsee to hug her knees and cry alone.


	3. Sitting together on a dark bridge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own any part of Touhou Project. Team Shanghai Alice does.
> 
> I claim no expertise in romantic relationships, sexual intimacy, emotional development, Japanese mythological creatures, Touhou canon, the geography of the world of Gensoukyou, or English grammar. I especially claim no expertise in the manifestation of traumatic flashbacks.

Yuugi drudged dejectedly through the dayworld. Her shoulders were slumped, she stared at the ground and dragged her bindle on the ground behind her. The scenery was very nice, verdant and landscape ready, but she wasn’t in the mood to enjoy the reprieve from the pallid hellscape.

Sometimes a few fairies or scared villages picked a fight wither her because of her horn. She walloped them without a sweat, but her heart wasn't in it. Not even physical violence could cheer her up or drive the sound of Parsee's scorn or the image of her tearstained face from haunting her mind. She drank the sake from her bindle, and ate some of the curry before it got cold. The rest of the food she gave to a passing ice fairy after a brief, melancholic altercation.

She should go away. Find some space to clear her head and organize her thoughts, for the sake of both her and Parsee.

She could visit Eirin, but she never actually intended to go all the way to the alchemists shop. She had left her pack and her medicine jars at home.

She could be productive. There were more buildings back in the Ancient city to repair. Satori needed to arrange a meeting with some upstart hotshot monk and her lackeys. An old noodle sales-Oni was looking for new ingredients. There were booths to be assembled for the upcoming holiday festival. There was always something to be done.

Or... She could go back to the bridge and resolve this thing today. Patience was a trait learned from necessity, rather than a reflection of her nature.

Yeah, talking to Parsee was definitely her next move.

Yuugi took one last look at the verdant haven of Gensoukyou. She smiled and waved goodbye to to the gentle sunset over swaying grass and marched back to where she came from.

 //----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

 

Under the bridge between Gensyoukyou and the topmost layer of hell, Parsee Mizuhashi cried silently and hugged her knees and hated and hated and _hated._ All because of a stupid Oni with a magnificent red horn, who always openly displayed the one thing Parsee coveted most of all: happiness.

And she just had to rub it in her face. She had to make fun of her. That was even worse than when she pitied her. She was proud of the way she told her off earlier, but her words still tormented her.

So of fucking course she'd come back to the bridge. Of course.

“Parsee!” yelled the tall Oni across the bridge to the afterworld.

Parsee slipped into the river, her eyes barely above the water line. Damp souls moaned as they collided with the back of her head. She had learned to swim some time ago, and in the process learned that the distinctions of her curse wouldn't let her sink too far into its infinite depths.

"Parsee! Are ya here?" called Yuugi again. Parsee heard the wooden clack of Yuugi's wooden sandals along her bridge as the Oni paced across it's length, over and over.

Parsee gritted her teeth and scoffed. Not this idiot again. She didn't need this. She slipped further into the water and waited.

 

 //-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Parsee awoke, and looked towards her bridge. Yuugi was sitting in the middle of it, kicking her legs off the edge as she ocassionally flung a pebble into the river, stirring up the water and souls. She was still here. Why was she still here? Why was she so committed to tormenting her?

Parsee threw a stick. It bounced off the top of Yuugi's head

The Oni didn't seem to mind. “Pars?” she asked, standing and turning to the hashihime.

“What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to apologize." Yuugi made a dramatic bow.

“That's stupid," pouted Parsee, turning away and crossing her ams. "You're stupid. Go away.”

Yuugi smiled a pained, pitying smile. “I realize I hurt you, and I didn't mean to.”

Parsee scoffed. “And that makes it all better, huh?

Yuugi refreshed her smile. “I just want to make this right, arite?.”

“Well you can't. “

The Oni contorted her face dejectedly. “Fine then,” she said.

Parsee exhaled in relief. She didn't need this. She didn't want this. She was fine with her regular routine of hate. And if she needed friends, well, she could try to talking to Kisume or Yamame. She was fine in her hole under her bridge and Yuugi just needed to go away.

“I'll just stay here until you forgive me," finished Yuugi.

Parsee's heart almost stopped. “W-what? You can't do that."

With a great thump Yuugi sat herself down on the wooden planks in the middle of the bridge. Yuugi crossed her arms and pouted, mirroring Parsee in a way that made her red with rage. “I can an' I will.”

 "No! Nonononononono! I don't want you here! Go away!"

Yuugi smiled insufferably. "Make me."

Parsee ran over and tried to shove Yuugi. The oni didn't budge; she was all muscle. Yuugi closed her eyes and smirked. Parsee put both her hands on Yuugi's shoulders and tried to move the larger woman, but her shoes lost traction and she found herself comically running in place while accomplishing nothing. At the end she fell on her face in an undignified manner.

Parsee's face was pure crimson, but eventually she brushed herself off and hugged her knees next to Yuugi.

 

 //-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Yuugi said nothing, and Parsee wasn't about to either. Parsee refused to turn her head towards the Oni, so she didn't even know if the oni was trying to say something, or if she ocassionally glanced at her with a gentle smile and a look of regret. And she didn't want to know. She didn't care what the idiot thought, or what she was doing. She was completely fine. 

And since she couldn't even look at Yuugi without exploding she definitely didn't take the opportunity to examine her She didn't need to. Parsee could tell that Yuugi was still taller than her, still more muscular and yet more pretty than she could hope to be. Her horn was still cooler than her stupid pointy ears. Her breasts were still much larger than hers too. But her happy expression was gone, replaced with some sort of dejected frown. Parsee thought she would be happy that Yuugi's insufferable smirk wiped off her face for once, but it didn't. It made her feel worse.

Feeling bad was normal for Parsee, so she ignored it. They sat in silence again. Parsee discovered that Yuugi's knee length skirt was actually semi-transparent. Her legs were muscular but smooth, like her arms, and they were really, really long. Parsee glanced-er, happened to accidentally tilt her head towards Yuugi's arms, and they too were. Parsee found she wasn't jealous of them, though. What was this, liking something without wanting it? That didn't make sense.

She looked up, and saw that _Yuugi was looking right at her._ With the stupidest expression, even; her eyebrows raised and mouth agape in surprise.

Parsee blushed and jerked her head away. She cried a little when Yuugi chuckled. She had to say something before Yuugi got the wrong impression.

 “Hate,” spat Parsee,

“What?”

“Let me tell you how much I've come to hate you since I met you.”

“There are seven billion billion billion latoms that make up the husk of my useless body and if every one of those atoms were inscribed with the word 'hate' it would not even begin to describe the hatred I feel for you,” she continued. “Hate. Hate.”

That got her. Yuugi frowned, and her eyes watered in a way Parsee knew all too well. 

“Y-ya know I'm not tryin' ta be yer enemy, right Pars?"

That stupid nickname again. Tch. "Doesn't matter," dismissed Parsee, "You managed anyway."

" _No,"_ said Yuugi, forcefully enough to make Parsee turn towards her. "I refuse to let this end this way."

Parsee turned away. She heard Yuugi scoot closer to her. The idiot. She tried to put her arm around Parsee, but the smaller woman brushed her arm off. Yuugi tried again, and this time Parsee shoved her. On the third time, though, Parsee allowed Yuugi to place her arm around her sholder. In retrospect it was rather nice; Yuugi's arm was large and sturdy, but not uncomfortable, and very warm. Parsee's neck nestled in the crook of Yuugi's elbow, leaving the rest of her arm to drape over her back.

It was the first time Parsee had physical contact with another person for a long time. Not since, well...

Unwanted memories came flashing back to her in shattered, whirling fragments. Times before she became a Hashihime. A lover, and the wonderful, weightless feelings of loving and being loved. Cuddles beneath a quiet sunset and the ensuing night lit by unfamiliar stars. And then a betrayal, and the jealously, such jealousy that she thought she couldn't ever feel anything else, and then a suicide that ensured she became something that never would.

The unbidden fragments played out in her head like a thousand movie reels, all at once.

She was pulled out of the nightmare. Her body physicall moved, and was now being smothered by some sort of cage of warmth. It was a hug. Yuugi was hugging her.

“W-what are you doing, you dumb jerk?” she said, weakly. She realized her throat was hoarse and that her cheeks were damp.

Yuugi didn't respond with words. She stroked Parsee's hair twice and just held her while the smaller girl cried into her chest. After a while, Parsee stopped crying and returned the embrace.

 

  
 //-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Eventually the hug ceased. Parsee made no comment, not even to berate her. Yuugi stayed by her side, not offering and seemingly not needing any words. Parsee couldn't articulate the kind of hate she felt. Hatred for letting herself be seen when she was vulnerable. Hatred for just giving into the moment. Hatred for herself, entirely, leaving none for the Oni. That was strange; how come should couldn't bring herself to hate Yuugi right now?

Parsee cogitated, and Yuugi started smiling again. They said nothing else. 

  
 //-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Parsee decided, eventually, that it might not be so bad to have someone with which to while away the endless monotony of a cursed eternity with. Togeter they watched leaves fall from the autumn trees. Together hey watched storms in Former Hell from afar. Together they saw the river of souls meander through the craggy valley. They saw families of fairies migrate through the distant forest and the breathtaking sunset across both the worlds. Eternity trapped around a bridge wasn't so bad with someone there to share it with. 

And one day, Parsee realized Yuugi wasn't there beside anymore. It was a startling obeservation, and a saddening one. How long had it been?

“Good riddance,” she forced herself to say. She hugged herself, but it didn't compare to when Yuugi did it.

 


	4. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuugi and Parsee realize something about the feelings they've been having.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is late and short and overdo so I'll just post it and revise it later if necessary.

Atop the bridge between Gensyoukyou and the topmost layer of hell, Parsee Mizuhashi cried silently and hugged her knees and … hated? Her feelings felt a little different today, but they must be hate, because hate was all she was capable of. 

She sat on her bridge, rather than under it for once. The river flowed below her; the tortured souls swirled and mewled in feral agony.

She was thinking about that muscular one horned Oni constantly for what seemed like forever now. She had a stupid smile and a stupid laugh and she always said the stupidest things.

She wanted to tell Yuugi that she was too tall and too strong and too beautiful and that she was too nice and she smiled too much and that didn't she have better things to do with her time?

She wanted to see her again. Because she came up with more insults since last time, obviously.

And Parsee was lost in thought. She didn't notice someone walk up to her until they sat down next to her with a reverberating thump.

It was Yuugi. That big, hunky, insufferably smiling Yuugi.

Parsee involuntarily smiled. She tried to say something. Maybe she succeeded, and maybe Yuugi answered. They didn't talk, though. But wasn't there something she wanted to say to her? Oh yeah.

“Idiot,” mumbled Parsee, “Don't you have anything better to do?”

Yuugi grinned sheepishly. Parsee turned back to the river.

They had been doing this for a few days now. Saying nothing. Doing nothing, but keep each other company, looking over the edge together, watching the world and the underworld pass by.

 

 

//-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Parsee looked over at Yuugi's sleeping form. She usually went home at night, but earlier this night there were fireworks in distant Gensoukyou. Some summer festival or something. It was summer, and a lot of villages were having them. The Ancient city was going to have one too soon, she had heard from Kisume and Yamame, and they had their own fireworks so it would be much better than anything the humans could do. But these surface fireworks were still pretty, and nice to watch with someone you cared for. Or at least tolerated. Yeah.

They even talked a little. Not about anything in particular. Nothing profound or emotionally meaningful, but it helped pass the time. Yuugi even told a joke that Parsee had to try really hard not to laugh at. 

And now it was night. The milky surface night-scape was visible in the distance.

Yuugi had leaned back and fallen asleep. Her right forearm was crossed over her eyes. Occasionally she mumbled and turned.

Parsee creeped over to where the Oni slept. It would be so easy just to...

To give her a little push over the edge. Drown her in the river.

Parsee put a hand on Yuugi's shoulder. The Oni tensed, but resumed snoring.

Parsee looked at her stupid face. Yuugi's mouth was open in a dopey grin. A bubble of snot dripped from her left nostril. Her eyes didn't flicker in discontent, they didn't clench in fear or loneliness.

Parsee felt the jealousy whirl up inside her. Wasn't it uncomfortable? Wasn't it cold? Wasn't it awful spending the evening with a horrible little hate monster who couldn't be happy? Why was she here? Why did this asshole get to be so happy sleeping on her bridge?

Why couldn't Parsee sleep as soundly as Yuugi did?

As if in response, Yuugi's grin dissapeared. She shivered, and shifted to hug her arms. Seeing her unhappy like this causled all animosity towards her to evaporate, leaving gut-churning remorese and self-horror. Why would she ever think of harming Yuugi? She was just trying to be nice, and now she was miserable because of her.

No, because of the cold. Yeah. Parsee wasn't at fault here. Yuugi was probably just cold. Parsee had to check.

Parsee reached down to touch the Oni's arms. They were very firm, she couldn't stop herself from noticing; very muscular. Very strong. Toned. Possibly some people would say breathtakingly attractive, maybe, not that Parsee would, necessarily. Yuugi was probably very proud of them, and if she wasn't, she should be. 

Parsee wanted to be held by them so bad.

She shook her head. Where did that thought come from? She-she was just jealous because she wanted to be as strong as the oni too. Yeah. That's it.

But as she ran her fingers over the contours of the Yuugi's arm muscles in a totally platonic non-creepy way Parsee also noticed they were cold. Yuugi's clothing didn't seem too warm or even that, uh, conservative. Her hunky arms and legs were bare for Parsee to see.

And Yuugi's skirt was semi-transparent, too. Not that she was looking at her legs! No, she was just contemplating how warm it could possibly be if they couldn't even hold light in. Wasn't light somehow related to heat? The point was that they must be cold, and Parsee was totally justified in touching Yuugi's legs to see if they were cold too. Yep, totally justified. And they were indeed rather cold, so she should do something about that, right? 

Parsee promptly snuck off to get her blanket, the one that Yuugi gave her originally. She draped it over the Oni, and Yuugi mumbled and shuffled until her face settled on a smile.

“Don't get the wrong idea,” whispered Parsee through a pout. Yuugi didn't react. “This blanket was yours to begin with.”

Parsee walked back a little and hugged her knees, watching Yuugi sleep more soundly. It made her angry. Why would she do that for her? That was  _her_  blanket, though. Yuugi even gave it to her, so she should use it for herself.

But, thought Parsee, Yuugi needed it more than her. She was fine in the dirt, even if it was uncomfortable after the last few nights. She didn't know how she could go back to sleeping in the dirt, but she had generously given the blanket 

Well, there was one solution. The blanket was large enough for two people. That wouldn't be weird, right? It was, technically hers, and formerly Yuugi's, so they both had a claim. Maybe.

Aw, fuck it. Parsee knew she was going to cuddle with Yuugi the moment she put the blanket over her. She crawled under the blanket and put her head on one of Yuugi's muscular arms, which, she noticed, were now a lot warmer.

 

//-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Yuugi woke up. She noticed she was rather warm. Warmer than she had any right to be considering she was on a bridge in a cave at night where the sun didn't even usually reach in the day.

Parsee was lying over her, on her right arm, specifically. That was why her hand was asleep. But Parsee looked at peace for once, and Yuugi smiled at the thought. With her other hand she gently stroked Parsee's hair.

Parsee stirred. Her eyelids fluttered, and then opened. Parsee catapulted upright and then tried to jump back, but she got tangled in the blanket and fell over.

“Ahhh- I'm sorry!” she squeaked, recomposing herself and promptly bowing in deference. A blush spread across her face.

“Naw, don't aplogize, Pars,” Yuugi said. She felt her own face grow into a blush. “Actually, ah, t'was rather nice. I wouldn’t mind doin' it again sometime.”

Did she really just say that? What did that mean? No, she knew what that meant. She knew what she felt now, and she knew she had to tell Parsee that.

Parsee looked down. Her face was neutral and she said nothing.

Yuugi took that as a sign to continue. “Look, I know we dint meet 'till recently, but I haven't been able to stop thinkin' 'bout ya since I met ya. I first thought it was guilt, ya know, cause ya didn't seem to have fun when we fought at first, and after that I thought it was frustration, though, cause yer always mad at me and I didn't want ya to be. And I still don't; I actually really, really want ya to like me, because I like you, and I think that's a 'like- like' kinda like."

Yuugi took a deep breath and her mouth spoke words that didn't pass her brain on their way from the heart.

"I've really enjoyed spending these here last few days with ya and I enjoy listenin' to what ya have to say or just quietly lookin' at the sky and the river and junk. And, I don't know, there's just something 'bout ya that makes me want to just hug ya. Maybe it's yer cuteness, 'cause yer really cute, ya know? Yer eye's are so pretty and when ya pout it's, just, the most adorable thing."

Parsee bowed her head even lower and hugged her knees tighter. But she didn't tell her to stop, so that's good, right?

"So, uh," said Yuugi, putting a hand behind her head, "Maybe ya'd like ta go out sometime? Like, on a date? A romantical one. Is what I'm tryin' ta say."

Parsee sat up instantly, and turned to Yuugi to glare at her in shock. Yuugi took the opportunity to take in the hashihime's brilliant green eyes and how they glinted in the dawn.

Parsee blushed and looked back at the ground and said nothing for an excruciating moment.

Nothing.

For the most excruciating moment in Yuugi's life.

_Absolutely nothing._

Yeah, there were other excruciating moments in Yuugi's life, mostly these last few weeks when dealing with Parsee, but this was the most excruciating one of them all.

Yuugi started feeling embarrassed, even. That whole speech was totally off the cuff. She didn't completely realize that she felt that way about Parsee until that moment, though, and while she considered herself capable of patience she didn't see it as a virtue most of the time, but perhaps this was one of those times. Maybe this thing called for a poem and a bouquet of roses, and as she replayed her impromptu speech in her mind she mentally kicked herself at all the awkward phrasings and the things she neglected.

But these were  _feelings._ They came from her heart, and the organ ached as Yuugi thought about the bridge princess. Yuugi's muscles didn't respond to her brain, not that her brain had the energy to spare to tell her muscles to do things. 

The sun was visibly moving across the horizon. A piece of the riverbank eroded into the river. Yuugi's head started feeling light and dizzy and her stomach felt like it was dissolving itself.

 Parsee finally spoke.

What she finally sad was “No.” 

Something in Yuugi broke at her words. Lots of things, really. Her heart shattered and her mouth dried up and her head flew away.

“No, I'm sorry. I can't,” continued Parsee, “I shouldn't. You shouldn't.”

Yuugi's had to try three times to swallow before she could say something else. 

“Why not?”

Parsee scowled. “Why not?  _Why not?_  For one, we don't even know each other. You said so yourself. How can you even say you like me when you don't know me? Two, who'd want to date some stupid, selfish Oni like you! You're too tall and too - too hunky and you smile too much and you have a stupid laugh and you smell like sake and sweat and rambunctiousness and- and-"

Parsee hugged her knees. “And three; who'd want to date me anyway? I'm a terrible little bridge monster. I hate everything and I'm jealous of everything. I can't do anything for you. I can't give someone a reason to date me."

“Pars-”

“Four,” she whispered, “I don't know if I'm ready to love again. Even someone as- as good as you.”

Yuugi had no response to that.

“Thank you for staying with me these last few days Yuugi, but you really shouldn't have. I'm not worth it. You have a life.”

“Pars-”

“Go,” said Parsee, her voice cracking. “Please. It's for the best.”

“ _PARSEE!_ _,”_ shouted Yuugi, leaning down and punching the bridge. The blow reverberated through the entire bridge, and Parsee was bumped an inch into the air. “We did this before, Pars, and I'm not gonna leave ya. I know ya like me too Pars! I saw ya  _smile._  I dint think ya could when I met ya, but ya do when I show up each day! And ya voluntarily cuddled me last night too, so ya can't say ya don't like me back.”

Parsee didn't move, but she blushed harder when Yuugi mentioned the cuddling. She stared at the river, and Yuugi felt the passion leak out of her as another excruciating moment passed.

“Fine,” said Parsee, and Yuugi felt her heart flutter. It was actually a little uncomfortable. Parsee continued, “I see there's no reasoning with you. I'll do it, on one condition though, which you have to complete first."

" _A_ -arite," squeaked Yuugi. Wow, that was wierd. She didn't even know her voice could get that high.

“You have to stay away from me for a week.”

“Wha? Why?”

“Live your life. Talk to your real friends. You'll see that spending time with me can't compare."

“How's that there make any sense?”

“It doesn't matter. It's my condition. Take it or leave it.”

Yuugi sighed. “Alright,” she said. Parsee's eyes widened for a second before returning to their usually narrow and she 'tch' ed. 

Yuugi stood up and started walking towards the rising sun in Gensoukyou. She turned her head and said over her shoulder, “I guess I'll see ya in a week, Pars.”

'Wait,” said the bridge princess.

“Ya?”

“You crossed my bridge. There's a toll.”

“Och. What's yer price?”

Parsee stood up and looked up at Yuugi. She was still slouching, and she held her arm timidly. Tears were running down her face and her mouth was contorted in a wobbly frown.

“Can I have a hug? One last- OOF-”

Yuugi rushed over her and squeezed her, physically picking her up. Parsee's arms dangled at her sides, but after a moment of surprise she returned the hug with her head, resting it on Yuugi head. Yuugi pressed her cheek to the top of Parsee's forehead.

“I'll be back, Pars. Ya won't get rid of me that easily.”

“Y-yuugi, you dumb jerk,” mumbled Parsee.

The hug lasted until the sun finished rising. Yuugi reluctantly let the smaller woman go and walked back across the bridge and into the sunrise while Parsee sat on the edge of her bridge and felt that weird not-quite-hate emotion again. 


	5. A few conversations about love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuugi and Parsee look for love advice and consider their feelings for each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest week ever. 
> 
> I do not own any of these characters. Shanghai Alice does. 
> 
> I guarantee no expertise in nor even basic knowledge of love, relationships, gensoukou geography, or love. 
> 
> Some liberties were taken with titles and power manifestations.
> 
> will fix all the typos

Yuugi walked the overgrown cobblestone on the way to Gensoukyou. What she needed, she decided, was some advice, or someone to gripe to. A stiff drink wouldn't hurt either. Both of these pointed to seeing her best friend. Other people often knew more about ya than ya often did, especially if you knew them for more than a thousand years. And, what's more, Suika was in a relationship, so she could, uh, help out, probably. 's what friends were for, right? Putting up with bullshit?

Additionally, Suika had the capacity to create unlimited alcohol, which was something Yuugi decided she needed right now.

So Yuugi decided she'd go visit Suika, which meant she had to go to Tenshii's house up in heaven, because Suika was one of _those_  girlfriends. That was why Yuugi she left towards Gensoukyou rather than former hell yesterday. Suika was probably still there.

As she hiked up the mountainside, Yuugi realized she didn't actually know if Suika and Tenshii were officially dating. Suika talked a lot about Tenshii, but all of it was ridiculous praise and poetic waxing and blushing confessions of desire. That meant Yuugi didn't actually have a good idea of what Tenshii was like, or what Suika's relationship with her actually was.

But still. Worth a shot, and Yuugi had a lot of stuff she needed to talk about. So any port in a storm, ya?

Yuugi didn't like Tenshii on principle. She wasn't right for Suika, and since they started dating (or whatever they were doing), she was all Suika would talk about, which was really annoying, and Yuugi decided to blame Tenshii for it. What business did an angel (or whatever celestial being Tenshii was) have dating an Oni?

Yuugi had talked with Tenshii under formal circumstances once before, as the liaison between Former Hell and Heaven, back when Former Hell was just Hell. The meeting had been all buisness, so at least Tenshii was a professional. Not sure if that was necessarily something desirable in a relationship though, especially for Oni, and especially especially for Suika. She didn't think Suika had a serious bone in her body, except for the kind of ironic seriousness that came with fighting for stupid reasons. Both of them were the kind of people who made defiant, self-aware speeches to enemies that were amenable to negotiations.

It was a long way away, but that was a good thing, though. She'd have time to clear her head and sort herself out before she talked to Suika.

But that was also time for her to stew about Parsee and her ultimatum.

Why should she have to wait a week? She had half a mind to walk back there and demand a heart-to-heart discussion. Or maybe even just skip that and go straight for a smooch on the face. They were obviously attracted to each other, and they enjoyed spending time with each other, and they were both single, so there was no reason to wait a week, no reason to dally about. It's not like they were humans or something.

The rejection still kind of stung. Well, really stung. Yuugi had frequently gotten the crap beaten out of her before, and not in a sportsmanlike way. When the two humans from but this somehow felt worse, even if she didn't physically hurt.

But maybe she was wrong. It had been a while since she had dated; drinking buddies, mostly, relationships meant only to sate carnal desires that fizzled when the spark of attraction died. She hadn't felt even remotely close to any of them, not how she felt about Parsee. She wanted to know her better, and to spend time with her. Sitting together on her bridge had been nice, but Yuugi had a life she wanted to share too, one she could no longer imagine without Parsee.

She could see her walking arm in arm with Parsee, walking the fallen roads of the Ancient City seeing the sights, lounging around her dusty apartment just talking about nothing, sitting adjacent to each other at her favorite sake joint, challenging the rest of the bar to a drinking contest and winning.

She still had to drink with her. They never did, in those weeks of sitting on the bridge. They didn't do much there, she realized. That just meant they'd have to do more together.

 

//----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

All in all it took a day and a half to hike up the heavenly mountain to Tenshii's little homestead. There were resting houses on the way, so it wasn't as bad as it used to be. 

It was cold at the top of the mountain, and Yuugi rubbed her elbows and shivered slightly as she approached the peak of the mountain. Her short sleeve shirt, translucent skirt and geta were exactly the wrong attire for foot-deep snow. But exactly the right attire to prove one's worth, arrgh! 

But at the peak of the mountain the snow gave way to white clouds and the world was suddenly warmer, and bathed in a different sort of light. The sun didn't hurt to look at and the air was thick enough to breath comfortably. This was, as Yuugi surmised, the entrance to heaven. She wondered if she should be bursting into flames or something every time she came here.

Tenshii's house was a charming but modest affair, one story, wood and paper walls that would be impractical if heaven weren't so, well, heavenly. Climate controlled, 's what it is. The vegetable garden, albeit meager, was meticulously groomed; a few cherry tomatos were ripe, and Yuugi popped one in her mouth, hoping Tenshii wouldn't mind. There was laundry hanging to dry off the side of the house, and Yuugi identified some of it as Suika's. Her clothes were a noticeable degree smaller than Tenshii's. 

Yuugi knocked on the front door, weathered and homely and slightly crooked, with the top hinge nail sticking out at an angle. Suika's slurred voice beckoned her in, and Yuugi put her sandals right inside the doorway, next two other sets of shoes. One pair of tiny sandals and one pair of elegant mary-janes. Since when did she know that much about fashion? Better keep it to herself, lest Suika rib her for it. Yuugi could hear two voices from the living room. She recognized both of them, and neither of them were Tenshii's. 

Yuugi tentatively poked her head into the living room. There was lowered table. Seated at it were a petite woman who had two brown horns that began at her temples and curved above her head, and another petite woman with blue hair, pale skin, and two large bat wings folded behind her. They were sharing a box of crackers and a jug of sake, with what looked like a fancy set of china. There was also a tea kettle, though Suika probably spiked her's. 

“Yo, Yuugi! Come'n take a seat!” slurred Suika, “and look who finally emerged from her dark pit!” she gestured at the blue-haired woman.

“Suika, you wound me,” declared the other woman. Yuugi could see two small fangs when she smiled. A vampire. “I hosted a ball just nine months ago. And I'm due for another one soon,” said the vampire.

“Remilia's been such a pill since she started dating that human woman. Won't even bring her to our drinking parties.”

“Says the woman who hasn't left her girlfriend's house for two weeks. My Sakuya and I have our own ways to entertain ourselves.”

“I betcha do.” Suika elbowed Remilia, whose expression flattened in annoyance for a moment.

Yuugi took a seat at the table and took a cup that Suika offered her. It was Tenshii's, had her name on it an all, and quite extravagant, and Yuugi wondered if taking it was appropriate etiquette.

Suika was small, and so was Remilia, though in slightly different ways. Remilia looked childlike, while Suika was just petite. But Remilia acted like an adult, while Suika acted like a child. Or, more accurately, a drunk adult, which in some allegories was equivalent to a baby. Both where impossible to mistake for actual children in their own way, the vampire in imperiousness and the Oni in profanity-laden inebriation.

“One little quirk of love, you should know,” began Remilia, “Is that I will literally murder you if you again cast aspersions upon my dearest Sakuya,”

The demon and the vampire glared at each other, and then broke into laughter. They laughed differently too; Remilia's laugh was refined, restrained, while Suika snorted so hard Yuugi always wondered if she was choking. 

“I know exactly how you feel, small one,” said Suika.

“Small one?” Remilia raised an eyebrow. “And just so you know,” she said, “I hesitate to bring my Sakuya to any of these soiree's because half of Team Evil's preferred entree is a meal of human flesh.”

“Weeeell ya know what I think?,” said Suika grinning in self-congratulation, “I think that yer the one that dines upon-”

“If you finish that sentence,” said the vampire, somehow managing to blush even though she lacked the means to circulate blood through her cheeks, “I will punch out all your blood.”

“Aww, C'mon, Remi,” said Suika, elbowing the vampire, “You know I'd tell ya all about Tenshi,”

“Wait, ya “Would'?” interrupted Yuugi. Now . “You mean you've been dating all this time and you haven't schulptd yet?”

“Weeelllll,” said Suika, downing another cup from the sake jug. “She wouldn't <hic> call it 'dating'. We've, uh,” she blushed, possibly from the alcohol and possibly from embarassment. “We haven't really gone on any dates. But we've had some special moments. Lots really. Felt emotions I didn't rem;ember I even had.” Remilia nodded em pathetically. “She makes me want to be a better person, y'know? She's immaculate.”

“Like an angel, I'll bet.”

“Hahaha." Suika glared as well as she was able. "Betcha feel real clever thinkin' that one up.”

Yuugi grunted. She had since taken a seat and poured a cup of sake for herself.

“But,” continued Suika between gulps,”thars a way to do this, right? Like, ya can't get to tha physical stuffs right away, even- <hic> even if she's the most beautiful woman in all o' Gensoukyou.”

“Debatable,” interjected Remilia, frowning lopsidedly.

“Cause- cause ya got to have an emotional connection, ya know? That makes it more special. And I'm <hic> I'm willin' ta do anything fer Tenshii, the most <hic> most special person ever.”

“While many of your points are up for contention,” Remilia said, in between a sip of sake, “I agree with the main one. The courting dance is a part of getting to know each other. Sakuya and I had known each other for a decade and a half before we started dating, and even then we didn't skip right to, ah, physical intimacy."

Yuugi nodded along and swirled her glass. Suika slumped over on the couch and shot a brief, accusing glance at the vampire. “Like, I want this to work out, y'know?”

Remilia nodded. "And for what it's worth, friend, I do too." She took a sip. "Not in the least because it's impossible in my current circle of friends to find people to double-date with who aren't horrifying monsters. No offense of any of our friends, of course."

There was a lull where Suika started nodding off and Remilia didn't say anything. An opportunity, yeah? 

“Well,” Yuugi began, “Since ye were talkin' 'bout it. I have a, uh, potential someone.”

Yuugi took a long, slurping sip of her sake and tried to avoid eye contact. She knew Suika would tease her, especially after the whole debacle in the market square. Not sure about Remilia, though, but Yuugi didn't completely trust anyone so egregiously loquacious. 

“Oh, really?” Suika gigled and kicked her legs. “Who is it?”

“Just, ah, someone I met. I was wondering if I could ask ya some advice,” Yuugi said to he into her cup, trying to sound nonchalant. “Ya know, if'n ya wanted."

“Huh. Why would ya ask me 'bout something like that?”

“Well, uh, 'cause yer in a relationship.”

Suika took a sip. Her eyes narrowed and her grin widened. “I thought ya didn't think mine would work out.”

Yuugi smirked. “Well, ya, I figure once yer's crashes and burns ya can tell me exactly what _not_ ta do.”

“Fuck you, Yuugi.”

Yuugi and Suika broke into a laugh. Remilia glanced between them and took a cup of tea.

“So ya see,” Suika slurred, swirling her cup as she pontificated with her free hand, almost smacking Remilia in the face. “Love is this magical force, but is also like a disease. So it's like a curse. Ya know it when ya feel it, because it makes yer head all fuzzy and it makes you do stoopid things to impress someone, and you know when it works when they catch it too. I think someone famous said 'love is doing dumb shit together.'”

“So you've done a lot of stupid stuff with Tenshii?"

Suika frowned. “Umm, a little. I was gonna invite her to the festival this week."

“What, after not helping out with the prep?"

“I did too help out!” Suika righted herself on the couch, pouting theatrically.. "I cleared the market square for spaces for decoranations."

“I was going to say,” said Remilia, looking into her cup with one eye. Her cheeks were slightly flushed, confirming for Yuugi that she'd been spiking the tea as well, “something like 'so have you infected Tenshii yet?', because one can interpret that, ah, dirty.”

Tenshi waved the air in front of the vampire. 

“Like poetry. I've written so much poetry for Tenshii, ya know?"

"Really?" Remilia said, "I'll be honest; You didn't strike me as the type. I mean, poetry requires at least a passing familiarity with grammar and spelling."

Suika fell backwards. “Nah, Poetry's easy! Just, like, say what you feel, and that's, like, freeform poetry! You don't have to make it rhyme or anything. And it's more real if 

"But it's catchier if you do make it rhyme," said Remilia "And it reflects highly on the poet if she took the time to express herself in ways that rhyme."

"Nah, see' i'd start like, 'eyes bright with flowery grace, and smile so 

Then the door opened. 

"And here I thought the saying was 'speak of the devil', not the angel," chuckled Remilia.

“Tenshii!” Suika stumped to her feet and ran to into the hall, out of sight. She recited the rest of her poem over the sounds of a door closing. 

A blue haired woman with a magnificent black hat adorned with still living branches of a peach tree walked in from the outside, hands on her hips and a furious expression on her face. She turned to the demon.

“What are you still doing here Suika?”

“Ah just thought I'd stay in, my dove-”

“And what are these people doing here?” She gestured to Remilia and Yuugi.

Suika frowned. “They're my friends. And they're supposed ta be yers, too, Tenshii. Be nice to them!”

“So you lounged around my house all day and invitde your friends to wreck the place _without telling me?_ ”

Suika's face fell even more. “Ya gave me a key!”

“I expected a modicum of etiquette when I gave you that! Don't just throw parties in my house whenever you feel like it! Have some respect for other people!” Tenshii gritted her teeth, “Have some respect for me! For once.”

“Tenshii, no, I dint mean ta hurt ya,” Suika said, trembling forward with her arms out. She tried to give the taller woman a hug, but Tenshi slapped her arms away and stepped back and hugged her elbows. She frowned at the ground. 

'Teshii, you can't think that I don't love ya! I wrote ya a poem just yesterday! An I'll do it a gain! Yer so beautiful, and kind, and- forgiving? I hope-?"

“I don't want another poem! I don't want a backrub or a bouquet of flowers or some other worthless 'grand gesture of love'” tenshi pantomimed, “What good is a ridiculous display of affection every once in a while when you're normally a complete ass?"

“Ya want me toa show I love ya all the time, Tenshi? 'cause I will! I will, anything you ask."

“Ok then." Tenshii looked Suika in the eye. "Quit drinking.”

Suika froze. Yuugi awkwardly glanced at Remilia, who was doing her best gargoyle impression.

Suika then striaghtened her back. “Tenshii, we've been over this. Drinkins a part oo who I am. I've been drinking forever, literally-"

“And Inow want you to stop. For me. You said you'd do anything, right?"

“Tenhii, please. The drinkin's not a problem, so it shouldn't matter ta ya.

“What if I said that your drinking was becoming a problem?"

Suika stepped back. “You hippocrit! You said ya loved me just the way I was!

“Don't make me the enemy, here!: shouted Tenshii. “My girlfriend is a deadbeat, useless drunkard and somehow I'm the bad guy for wanting to make her better?! You're always doing this Suika! You're always making it my fault

Tenshii, I didn't mean ta-

Remilia tapped Yuugi on the elbow. "I think it's best we absconded."

The vampire and the oni discreetly put down their cups. Yuugi nervously waved to Tenshii as they skirted around the argument. Tenshi may or may not have noticed and Suika were in each other's faces, yelling and crying and accusing and apologizing.

They snuck out one of the back rooms, one of the area's used as makeshift storage, careful not to topple any piles of papers or pots or memorabilia. the argument continued from the next room. The pair walked around the outside of the house, barefoot, to go in the front door to retrieve two pairs of shoes and, for Remilia, a pink parasol.

Remilia opened her parasol and spun it on her shoulder. She took a seat on a stone bench in the garden, and Yuugi did the same. The spat was indistinct but the volume and anger behind them were impossible to misunderstand. Remilia and Yuugi exchanged awkward glances that fell somewhere between forlorn and amused.

“So,” ventured Yuugi “Will they be all right?”

“Will they? Perhaps.” Remilia looked off into the distance. “Perhaps that’s just their way of showing their love. Who am I to judge their love? Mine is not orthodox either." Remilia half-smiled into the distance. "Or perhaps their love was fated to fail, and the arguments are the earthquakes that spring forth from the steady buildup of friction from opposites trying to force a love story where one cannot exist.”

Yuugi let Remilia cogitate for a moment. In honesty, she needed to cogitate a bit too.

Something came to her mind though. She cleared her throat. “What does it mean when someone says a relationship wouldn't work out?” she said. 

Remilia turned to Yuugi. Her expression was too complex to be readable as a specific emotion.

“It can probably mean many specific things. Funny you bring that up, because that's exactly what I said to my Sakuya when she first confessed to me.”

“Ach. That dinnae sound good.”

“Oh it certainly wasn't. Tears were shed. Blood was split. Lessons were learned.”

“But eventually ya said yes, right?”

Remilia blushed at the garden. “Eventually. It took a while, I'm ashamed to admit. But now I can think of no other possible relationship, because. I was afraid of change, of losing her, but I realized nothing had changed. I had always loved her, and she had always loved me. Now we just expressed it, ah, carnally."

Yuugi bit her cheek and realized her face felt hot. This kind of thing hadn't bothered her before, but now it made her heart jump into her throat.

“But back to your question: I don't know the context, but I think it means that they're afraid.”

“Afraid o' what/”

“Afraid of the relationship. Afraid of change. Afraid of failure. I was afraid I would jeopardize the close friendship I had with my favorite maid, and then I was afraid of not being able to love her the way she deserved, and then it was because I was afraid I would hurt her.”

Yuugi nodded, not sure she understood. “But ya got around that?”

“Well, in a way. I can't very well stop being a vampire. Even if I couldn't I wouldn't give up the intoxicating power, the, ah, hemophilia and the immortality. I do my best, and Sakuya does too, but, ah,” Remilia's voice cracked and she broke eye contact, “Sakuya refuses to forsake her mortality. And I support her. I'll love her no matter what.”

Remilia pulled out a copper pocket-watch and clutched it to her mouth. Moisture pooled in the corner of her eyes. Yuugi bit her lip and wondered whether she should say anything.

“But, unless you intend to date a human, you shouldn't have those problems. Haha." 

“Yeah, she's a Youkai. Satori said she was a, uh, 'Hashihime'?”

“Oh," Remilia raised an eyebrow. "You're talking about Parsee?'

Yuugi grinned and rubbed the back of her head.“Yeah, how'd ya know?”

“Not many hashihime around here. I think it's good that someone's fallen in love with her.” Remilia looked at her hands. “About time fate did her a good turn."

That was ominous. But that's vampires for ya.

“But if Parsee says the relationship wouldn't work out,” said Remilia, “Ignore her. She's a bit of a pessimist.”

“Oh?” Yuugi smiled involuntarily That made sense. As in, that was consistent with Yuugi's personal experiences with the hashihime.

“If you intend to be good to her, that is. 

 

“I've lived a long time, but I can't say much about love. But I think that love is something that can only exist with someone you know. Because otherwise, how can you say you love them? I think love is being with someone long enough to realize that you've always loved them, that you care for them as deeply as you care for yourself, and that you're willing to dedicate the rest-” Remili's voice cracked. She cleared her throat. “the rest of both your lives together.“

 

“Well,” Remilia retrieved a small pocket watch from her coat pocket and looked out wistfully into the distance, “All these strained relationships must make me want to hold my paramour. Tell her I love her. Nuzzle her hair. You know, haha.”

“Ah,” Yuugi said, for lack of anything else to say. "Well, ya sound happy, so I give you my sincerest support."

"Thank you, Yuugi. I'll see you around.” Remilia perked up. “Possibly at the festival, and hopefully at my next ball? Bring Parsee, assuming that works out." 

 

 

 

With no other place to go, Yuugi fluffled up a nearby lump of clouds and decided to see how cloud-watching differed when done from the other side. The clouds were much whiter, she noticed, and looked a lot taller, though that was probably just because of the angle of her vantage point.

She had gotten used to the argument in the background, like an environmental noise, and she didn't notice at first when it subsided and died.

With caution, she repeated her knock on the weathered door and this time Tenshi's voice beckoned her in. She took off her geta again and poked her head into the living room.

Tenshii was sitting on the couch, calmly, with her hand folded on her lap. The place, while still messy, was a lot tidier, and Tenshii put together somea pile of dsisparate magazines and into s stack and then moved them under the table.

“Hello, Yuugi, was it? Nice to meet

“Heya Tenshii. We've met before. Briefly,”

“Of course, of course." Tenshii waved at her abode. "Well, what brings you to my humble cloud?”

“I, ah, had something I wan'ned to a get a second opinion on. I was lookin' fer Suika, 'cause ya know, she's known me fer a long time, and maybe this was one of those 'know me better than i know mahself' kind of sitiations, ya?"

Tenshii nodded sagely. “Yes, yes. Often others know us better than we know ourselves. It is because they can form an opinion detached from emotional biases." Tenshii inhaled deeply and then exhaled slowly.

“However,” she motioned to the back of he house, where the ruffling of papers and the brushing of a broom could be heard over the frantic squeaks of the petite demon, “Suika's doing her chores and is currently unavailable. You're free to wait, if you like. Actually, that reminds me. Suika, dear?

Instantly the Oni marched into the room. She approached the table and bowed, gracelessly, “Yes, my angel?”

“Do be a dear and put on some tea for our guest. Without alcohol, if you please."

“Of course!” Suika saluted, missing her face. She disappeared into the kitchen and a light clanging of pots could be heard. Yuugi wondered if Suika already forgot what a tea kettle looked like and was clamoring around the entire pantry for one not stained with alcohol.

“But perhaps I could offer some help. I know we don't know each other that well but, of course, Suika's friends are my friends. And I like using my power to help people,” she smiled the smile that good guys did when they were being good and being smug about it too, tha bastards. “And I like to think I'm not terrible at it.”

Yuugi nodded slowly, considering whether to do so. This was a personal dilemma, after all, and Tenshi had her own problems. But, again, any port in a storm “It's, ah, 'bout relationships. And I don't wanna rock the boat when it comes to ya and Suika. 's not ma place to get involved."

Tenshii, to Yuugis' surprise, simply la out a hand to her mouth and laughed. “I wouldn't worry. I know Suika and I fight a lot, but we’re working on it. Relationships are a work in progress. You have to constantly put effort into them or they die. Like gardens, or empires."

“Really?” Yuugi cogitated. Remilia didn't make it sound like that at all. And she never heard anything strained coming from Satori and her weird relationship. But she had no dillusion that she was a love expert, so anyay.

“Yeah, really.” Tenshi closed her eyes and puffed out her chest. “Love is a work in progress, always . Any to people can make a relationship work, because of one simple fact.”

Yuugi wondered if she was supposed to ask what it was, but Tenshii continued completely nonplussed after a moment of silence. The sounds of Suika trying to make tea deflated some of the gravitas Yuugi thought Tenshii was going for. 

“People change. For better or for worse. The unenlightened stagnate and fester. The enlightened strive towards perfection. It is a continual struggle, though, because ones understanding of perfection evolves alongside oneself."

“It's the same with relationships. No two people start out perfect for each other, though some are closer than others. You have to work towards a better understanding of your partner. But often people allow themselves to change in the kinds of ways that drive them apart A lot of people get out of relationships after a while because they 'didn't work' or that 'they weren't right for each other'.That's just them saying that they weren't willing ot put in the effort ot make it work. Everyone changes, for good or for ill. Everybody should strive towards perfection, and in a relationship, you have to make sure you and your partner don't change for the worse." 

Ah. Yuugi remembered that this was why she didn't like Tenshii. All good guys were the same, all proselytizing and preaching and hypocrisy. They say they were tolerant, but they can't just let 'bad guys' be who they want to be. Yuugi gave it three hours before Suika started drinking again.

Yuugi only nodded, though. Thankfully, before the silence lingered long enough to demand a response, Suika bumbled in with a tray of tea. She put it down on the cofee table and then, teary-eyed and hands shaky, sat down on the Tenshii's lap and encircled her arms around the taller woman's neck. Suika nuzzled the crook of Tenshi's neck and mumbled something. Tenshi ruffled Suika's hair and smooched her forehead.

“Thank you sweetie,” said Tenshi. Maneuvering around her hanger on she offered Yuugi a cup of tea. It was the same cup that Suika offered Yuugi when they had sake earlier, though it seemed to have been thoroughly rinsed of alcohol.

The rest of the conversation was profoundly unhelpful. Half the time Suika did insufferable couple things at her tamer, and everything she said was the kind of stuff you say when yer gramma's looking over your shoulder. Even the smalltalk was laced with suck-up. 

Yuugi made an excuse to leave, and thanked the pair for the tea trying to hide her displeasure at having consumed a disappointingly insufficient amount of alcohol.

“Back in Former hell right?" said Tenshii. "Isn't that a long walk?

Yuugi shrugged. It was, but whatever. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Well, if you'd like, I may be able to help with that."

Yuugi raised an eybrow. 

“I know Yukari. Shes, well, sort of like my boss. Not exactly, but I can ask her for a favour, for my honey's best friend.” She nuzzled Suika's horns. 

That was incredibly nice, and super convenient. Yuugi rubbed that back of her head. "Oh, yeah, if it's not too much trouble. " That was good guys for you, always trying to make you feel like a dick. 

“Of course,” Tenshii bowed theatrically. “I would be honored to

She pulled out her cellphone and pushed a button. 

“Hey Yukari?”

Angry mumbles.

“I know, I know, but -

More mumbles.

“Yes, but-

Exasperated mumbles. 

“I'm trying to be nice here. There's an oni here who needs fast transit back to former hell."

Silence.

Mumbles again.

“Yeah."

Inquisitive mumbles.

“Yeah."

Suika dopily grabbed the phone from Tenshii. “Heeeeey Yukari!”

Tenshii turned red for a split second but was interrupted by surprised mumbles from the phone. Then she looked shocked.

“Yeah, Long time no see!”

Excited mumbles. 

“Oh, we're dating.

incredulous mumbles. 

“Yeah, we're super in love.

Laughter. Suika blushed. Mumbles.

“Yeah! That sounds great, I'll let her know."

 Suika turned to Yuugi. "So relax your jaw and try not to think of euclidean geometry," she slurred.

Before Yuugi could ask for clarification, Reality shattered in a small oval, tied off with ribbons at the zenith and nadir. A tall blond woman with a sleepy expression peaked out from the portal.  “Hey there,” she said. She wore a nightcap with a red bow and a dress that was one piece but was cut to make it look like she had a long coat. She had a flowery umbrella. This was Yukari Yakumo, goddess of portals, or something. 

She waved at Suika, who returned the wave a little too enthusiastically. Tenshii looked torn between exasperation and composure. 

 

Yukari held out her hand and smiled a good guy smile. “Thank you for traveling with Yukari Yakumo. Please keep all limbs and limb-analogs inside constructed space an all times. If for any reason you need to make an emergency exit from the metaphysical construct, good luck surviving in the ineffable void between realities."

Yuugi stepped into the void and forced her stomach not to get queasy, waving to the doomed lovers as she did. Yuugi felt bad for Suika as she left, but it was her own damn fault for not telling her girlfriend she used to date her girlfriend's boss. 

Yuugi walked the overgrown cobblestone on the way to Gensoukyou. What she needed, she decided, was some advice, or someone to gripe to. A stiff drink wouldn't hurt either. Both of these pointed to seeing her best friend. Other people often knew more about ya than ya often did, especially if you knew them for more than a thousand years. And, what's more, Suika was in a relationship, so she could, uh, help out, probably. 's what friends were for, right? Putting up with bullshit?

Additionally, Suika had the capacity to create unlimited alcohol, which was something Yuugi decided she needed right now.

So Yuugi decided she'd go visit Suika, which meant she had to go to Tenshii's house up in heaven, because Suika was one of  _those_  girlfriends. That was why Yuugi she left towards Gensoukyou rather than former hell yesterday. Suika was probably still there.

As she hiked up the mountainside, Yuugi realized she didn't actually know if Suika and Tenshii were officially dating. Suika talked a lot about Tenshii, but all of it was ridiculous praise and poetic waxing and blushing confessions of desire. That meant Yuugi didn't actually have a good idea of what Tenshii was like, or what Suika's relationship with her actually was.

But still. Worth a shot, and Yuugi had a lot of stuff she needed to talk about. So any port in a storm, ya?

Yuugi didn't like Tenshii on principle. She wasn't right for Suika, and since they started dating (or whatever they were doing), she was all Suika would talk about, which was really annoying, and Yuugi decided to blame Tenshii for it. What business did an angel (or whatever celestial being Tenshii was) have dating an Oni?

Yuugi had talked with Tenshii under formal circumstances once before, as the liaison between Former Hell and Heaven, back when Former Hell was just Hell. The meeting had been all buisness, so at least Tenshii was a professional. Not sure if that was necessarily something desirable in a relationship though, especially for Oni, and especially especially for Suika. She didn't think Suika had a serious bone in her body, except for the kind of ironic seriousness that came with fighting for stupid reasons. Both of them were the kind of people who made defiant, self-aware speeches to enemies that were amenable to negotiations.

It was a long way away, but that was a good thing, though. She'd have time to clear her head and sort herself out before she talked to Suika.

But that was also time for her to stew about Parsee and her ultimatum.

Why should she have to wait a week? She had half a mind to walk back there and demand a heart-to-heart discussion. Or maybe even just skip that and go straight for a smooch on the face. They were obviously attracted to each other, and they enjoyed spending time with each other, and they were both single, so there was no reason to wait a week, no reason to dally about. It's not like they were humans or something.

The rejection still kind of stung. Well, really stung. Yuugi had frequently gotten the crap beaten out of her before, and not in a sportsmanlike way. When the two humans from but this somehow felt worse, even if she didn't physically hurt.

But maybe she was wrong. It had been a while since she had dated; drinking buddies, mostly, relationships meant only to sate carnal desires that fizzled when the spark of attraction died. She hadn't felt even remotely close to any of them, not how she felt about Parsee. She wanted to know her better, and to spend time with her. Sitting together on her bridge had been nice, but Yuugi had a life she wanted to share too, one she could no longer imagine without Parsee.

She could see her walking arm in arm with Parsee, walking the fallen roads of the Ancient City seeing the sights, lounging around her dusty apartment just talking about nothing, sitting adjacent to each other at her favorite sake joint, challenging the rest of the bar to a drinking contest and winning.

She still had to drink with her. They never did, in those weeks of sitting on the bridge. They didn't do much there, she realized. That just meant they'd have to do more together.

 

//----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

All in all it took a day and a half to hike up the heavenly mountain to Tenshii's little homestead. There were resting houses on the way, so it wasn't as bad as it used to be. 

It was cold at the top of the mountain, and Yuugi rubbed her elbows and shivered slightly as she approached the peak of the mountain. Her short sleeve shirt, translucent skirt and geta were exactly the wrong attire for foot-deep snow. But exactly the right attire to prove one's worth, arrgh! 

But at the peak of the mountain the snow gave way to white clouds and the world was suddenly warmer, and bathed in a different sort of light. The sun didn't hurt to look at and the air was thick enough to breath comfortably. This was, as Yuugi surmised, the entrance to heaven. She wondered if she should be bursting into flames or something every time she came here.

Tenshii's house was a charming but modest affair, one story, wood and paper walls that would be impractical if heaven weren't so, well, heavenly. Climate controlled, 's what it is. The vegetable garden, albeit meager, was meticulously groomed; a few cherry tomatos were ripe, and Yuugi popped one in her mouth, hoping Tenshii wouldn't mind. There was laundry hanging to dry off the side of the house, and Yuugi identified some of it as Suika's. Her clothes were a noticeable degree smaller than Tenshii's. 

Yuugi knocked on the front door, weathered and homely and slightly crooked, with the top hinge nail sticking out at an angle. Suika's slurred voice beckoned her in, and Yuugi put her sandals right inside the doorway, next two other sets of shoes. One pair of tiny sandals and one pair of elegant mary-janes. Since when did she know that much about fashion? Better keep it to herself, lest Suika rib her for it. Yuugi could hear two voices from the living room. She recognized both of them, and neither of them were Tenshii's. 

Yuugi tentatively poked her head into the living room. There was lowered table. Seated at it were a petite woman who had two brown horns that began at her temples and curved above her head, and another petite woman with blue hair, pale skin, and two large bat wings folded behind her. They were sharing a box of crackers and a jug of sake, with what looked like a fancy set of china. There was also a tea kettle, though Suika probably spiked her's. 

“Yo, Yuugi! Come'n take a seat!” slurred Suika, “and look who finally emerged from her dark pit!” she gestured at the blue-haired woman.

“Suika, you wound me,” declared the other woman. Yuugi could see two small fangs when she smiled. A vampire. “I hosted a ball just nine months ago. And I'm due for another one soon,” said the vampire.

“Remilia's been such a pill since she started dating that human woman. Won't even bring her to our drinking parties.”

“Says the woman who hasn't left her girlfriend's house for two weeks. My Sakuya and I have our own ways to entertain ourselves.”

“I betcha do.” Suika elbowed Remilia, whose expression flattened in annoyance for a moment.

Yuugi took a seat at the table and took a cup that Suika offered her. It was Tenshii's, had her name on it an all, and quite extravagant, and Yuugi wondered if taking it was appropriate etiquette.

Suika was small, and so was Remilia, though in slightly different ways. Remilia looked childlike, while Suika was just petite. But Remilia acted like an adult, while Suika acted like a child. Or, more accurately, a drunk adult, which in some allegories was equivalent to a baby. Both where impossible to mistake for actual children in their own way, the vampire in imperiousness and the Oni in profanity-laden inebriation.

“One little quirk of love, you should know,” began Remilia, “Is that I will literally murder you if you again cast aspersions upon my dearest Sakuya,”

The demon and the vampire glared at each other, and then broke into laughter. They laughed differently too; Remilia's laugh was refined, restrained, while Suika snorted so hard Yuugi always wondered if she was choking. 

“I know exactly how you feel, small one,” said Suika.

“Small one?” Remilia raised an eyebrow. “And just so you know,” she said, “I hesitate to bring my Sakuya to any of these soiree's because half of Team Evil's preferred entree is a meal of human flesh.”

“Weeeell ya know what I think?,” said Suika grinning in self-congratulation, “I think that yer the one that dines upon-”

“If you finish that sentence,” said the vampire, somehow managing to blush even though she lacked the means to circulate blood through her cheeks, “I will punch out all your blood.”

“Aww, C'mon, Remi,” said Suika, elbowing the vampire, “You know I'd tell ya all about Tenshi,”

“Wait, ya “Would'?” interrupted Yuugi. Now . “You mean you've been dating all this time and you haven't schulptd yet?”

“Weeelllll,” said Suika, downing another cup from the sake jug. “She wouldn't <hic> call it 'dating'. We've, uh,” she blushed, possibly from the alcohol and possibly from embarassment. “We haven't really gone on any dates. But we've had some special moments. Lots really. Felt emotions I didn't rem;ember I even had.” Remilia nodded em pathetically. “She makes me want to be a better person, y'know? She's immaculate.”

“Like an angel, I'll bet.”

“Hahaha." Suika glared as well as she was able. "Betcha feel real clever thinkin' that one up.”

Yuugi grunted. She had since taken a seat and poured a cup of sake for herself.

“But,” continued Suika between gulps,”thars a way to do this, right? Like, ya can't get to tha physical stuffs right away, even- <hic> even if she's the most beautiful woman in all o' Gensoukyou.”

“Debatable,” interjected Remilia, frowning lopsidedly.

“Cause- cause ya got to have an emotional connection, ya know? That makes it more special. And I'm <hic> I'm willin' ta do anything fer Tenshii, the most <hic> most special person ever.”

“While many of your points are up for contention,” Remilia said, in between a sip of sake, “I agree with the main one. The courting dance is a part of getting to know each other. Sakuya and I had known each other for a decade and a half before we started dating, and even then we didn't skip right to, ah, physical intimacy."

Yuugi nodded along and swirled her glass. Suika slumped over on the couch and shot a brief, accusing glance at the vampire. “Like, I want this to work out, y'know?”

Remilia nodded. "And for what it's worth, friend, I do too." She took a sip. "Not in the least because it's impossible in my current circle of friends to find people to double-date with who aren't horrifying monsters. No offense of any of our friends, of course."

There was a lull where Suika started nodding off and Remilia didn't say anything. An opportunity, yeah? 

“Well,” Yuugi began, “Since ye were talkin' 'bout it. I have a, uh, potential someone.”

Yuugi took a long, slurping sip of her sake and tried to avoid eye contact. She knew Suika would tease her, especially after the whole debacle in the market square. Not sure about Remilia, though, but Yuugi didn't completely trust anyone so egregiously loquacious. 

“Oh, really?” Suika gigled and kicked her legs. “Who is it?”

“Just, ah, someone I met. I was wondering if I could ask ya some advice,” Yuugi said to he into her cup, trying to sound nonchalant. “Ya know, if'n ya wanted."

“Huh. Why would ya ask me 'bout something like that?”

“Well, uh, 'cause yer in a relationship.”

Suika took a sip. Her eyes narrowed and her grin widened. “I thought ya didn't think mine would work out.”

Yuugi smirked. “Well, ya, I figure once yer's crashes and burns ya can tell me exactly what  _not_ ta do.”

“Fuck you, Yuugi.”

Yuugi and Suika broke into a laugh. Remilia glanced between them and took a cup of tea.

 

“So ya see,” Suika slurred, swirling her cup as she pontificated with her free hand, almost smacking Remilia in the face. “Love is this magical force, but is also like a disease. So it's like a curse. Ya know it when ya feel it, because it makes yer head all fuzzy and it makes you do stoopid things to impress someone, and you know when it works when they catch it too. I think someone famous said 'love is doing dumb shit together.'”

“So you've done a lot of stupid stuff with Tenshii?"

Suika frowned. “Umm, a little. I was gonna invite her to the festival this week."

“What, after not helping out with the prep?"

“I did too help out!” Suika righted herself on the couch, pouting theatrically.. "I cleared the market square for spaces for decoranations."

“I was going to say,” said Remilia, looking into her cup with one eye. Her cheeks were slightly flushed, confirming for Yuugi that she'd been spiking the tea as well, “something like 'so have you infected Tenshii yet?', because one can interpret that, ah, dirty.”

Tenshi waved the air in front of the vampire. 

“Like poetry. I've written so much poetry for Tenshii, ya know? I mean, I still

 

“Poetry's easy! Just, like, say what you feel, and that's, like, freeform poetry! You don't have to make it rhyme or anything. And it's more real if 

"But it's catchier if you do make it rhyme. And it reflects highly on the poet if she took the time to express herself in ways that rhyme."

 

 

“Tenshii!” Suika stumped to her feet and ran to into the hall, out of sight. She recited a haiku over the sounds

 

A blue haired woman with a magnificent black hat adorned with still living branches of a peach tree walked in from the outside, hands on her hips and a furious expression on her face.

“What are you still doing here Suika?”

“Ah just thought I'd stay in, my dove-”

“And what are these people doing here?” She gestured to Remilia and Yuugi.

Suika frowned. “They're my friends. And they're supposed ta be yers, too, Tenshii. Be nice to them!”

“So you lounged around my house all day and invitde your friends to wreck the place  _without telling me?_ ”

Suika's face fell even more. “Ya gave me a key!”

“I expected a modicum of etiquette when I gave you that! Don't just throw parties in my house whenever you feel like it! Have some respect for other people!” Tenshii gritted her teeth, “Have some respect for me! For once.”

“Tenshii, no, I dint mean ta hurt ya,” Suika said, trembling forward with her arms out. She tried to give the taller woman a hug, but Tenshi slapped her arms away and stepped back and hugged her elbows. She frowned at the ground. 

'Teshii, you can't think that I don't love ya! I wrote ya a poem just yesterday! An I'll do it a gain! Yer so beautiful, and kind, and- forgiving? I hope-?"

“I don't want another poem! I don't want a backrub or a bouquet of flowers or some other worthless 'grand gesture of love'” tenshi pantomimed, “What good is a ridiculous display of affection every once in a while when you're normally a complete ass?"

“Ya want me toa show I love ya all the time, Tenshi? 'cause I will! I will, anything you ask."

“Ok then." Tenshii looked Suika in the eye. "Quit drinking.”

Suika froze. Yuugi awkwardly glanced at Remilia, who was doing her best gargoyle impression.

Suika then striaghtened her back. “Tenshii, we've been over this. Drinkins a part o' who I am. I've been drinking forever, literally-"

“And I know want you to stop. For me. You said you'd do anything, right?"

“Tenhii, please. The drinkin's not a problem, so it shouldn't matter ta ya.

“What if I said that your drinking was becoming a problem?"

Suika stepped back. “You hippocrit! You said ya loved me just the way I was!

“Don't make me the enemy, here!: shouted Tenshii. “My girlfriend is a deadbeat, useless drunkard and somehow I'm the bad guy for wanting to make her better?! You're always doing this Suika! You're always making it my fault

Tenshii, I didn't mean ta-

Remilia tapped Yuugi on the elbow. "I think it's best we absconded."

The vampire and the oni discreetly put down their cups. Yuugi nervously waved to Tenshii as they skirted around the argument. Tenshi may or may not have noticed and Suika were in each other's faces, yelling and crying and accusing and apologizing.

They snuck out one of the back rooms, one of the area's used as makeshift storage, careful not to topple any piles of papers or pots or memorabilia. the argument continued from the next room. The pair walked around the outside of the house, barefoot, to go in the front door to retrieve two pairs of shoes and, for Remilia, a pink parasol.

Remilia opened her parasol and spun it on her shoulder. She took a seat on a stone bench in the garden, and Yuugi did the same. The spat was indistinct but the volume and anger behind them were impossible to misunderstand. Remilia and Yuugi exchanged awkward glances that fell somewhere between forlorn and amused.

“So,” ventured Yuugi “Will they be all right?”

“Will they? Perhaps.” Remilia looked off into the distance. “Perhaps that’s just their way of showing their love. Who am I to judge their love? Mine is not orthodox either." Remilia half-smiled into the distance. "Or perhaps their love was fated to fail, and the arguments are the earthquakes that spring forth from the steady buildup of friction from opposites trying to force a love story where one cannot exist.”

Yuugi let Remilia cogitate for a moment. In honesty, she needed to cogitate a bit too.

Something came to her mind though. She cleared her throat. “What does it mean when someone says a relationship wouldn't work out?” she said. 

Remilia turned to Yuugi. Her expression was too complex to be readable as a specific emotion.

“It can probably mean many specific things. Funny you bring that up, because that's exactly what I said to my Sakuya when she first confessed to me.”

“Ach. That dinnae sound good.”

“Oh it certainly wasn't. Tears were shed. Blood was split. Lessons were learned.”

“But eventually ya said yes, right?”

Remilia blushed at the garden. “Eventually. It took a while, I'm ashamed to admit. But now I can think of no other possible relationship, because. I was afraid of change, of losing her, but I realized nothing had changed. I had always loved her, and she had always loved me. Now we just expressed it, ah, carnally."

Yuugi bit her cheek and realized her face felt hot. This kind of thing hadn't bothered her before, but now it made her heart jump into her throat.

“But back to your question: I don't know the context, but I think it means that they're afraid.”

“Afraid o' what/”

“Afraid of the relationship. Afraid of change. Afraid of failure. I was afraid I would jeopardize the close friendship I had with my favorite maid, and then I was afraid of not being able to love her the way she deserved, and then it was because I was afraid I would hurt her.”

Yuugi nodded, not sure she understood. “But ya got around that?”

“Well, in a way. I can't very well stop being a vampire. Even if I couldn't I wouldn't give up the intoxicating power, the, ah, hemophilia and the immortality. I do my best, and Sakuya does too, but, ah,” Remilia's voice cracked and she broke eye contact, “Sakuya refuses to forsake her mortality. And I support her. I'll love her no matter what.”

Remilia pulled out a copper pocket-watch and clutched it to her mouth. Moisture pooled in the corner of her eyes. Yuugi bit her lip and wondered whether she should say anything.

“But, unless you intend to date a human, you shouldn't have those problems. Haha." 

“Yeah, she's a Youkai. Satori said she was a, uh, 'Hashihime'?”

“Oh," Remilia raised an eyebrow. "You're talking about Parsee?'

Yuugi grinned and rubbed the back of her head.“Yeah, how'd ya know?”

“Not many hashihime around here. I think it's good that someone's fallen in love with her.” Remilia looked at her hands. “About time fate did her a good turn."

That was ominous. But that's vampires for ya.

“But if Parsee says the relationship wouldn't work out,” said Remilia, “Ignore her. She's a bit of a pessimist.”

“Oh?” Yuugi smiled involuntarily That made sense. As in, that was consistent with Yuugi's personal experiences with the hashihime.

“If you intend to be good to her, that is. 

 

“I've lived a long time, but I can't say much about love. But I think that love is something that can only exist with someone you know. Because otherwise, how can you say you love them? I think love is being with someone long enough to realize that you've always loved them, that you care for them as deeply as you care for yourself, and that you're willing to dedicate the rest-” Remili's voice cracked. She cleared her throat. “the rest of both your lives together.“

 

“Well,” Remilia retrieved a small pocket watch from her coat pocket and looked out wistfully into the distance, “All these strained relationships must make me want to hold my paramour. Tell her I love her. Nuzzle her hair. You know, haha.”

“Ah,” Yuugi said, for lack of anything else to say. "Well, ya sound happy, so I give you my sincerest support."

"Thank you, Yuugi. I'll see you around.” Remilia perked up. “Possibly at the festival, and hopefully at my next ball? Bring Parsee, assuming that works out." 

 

 

 

With no other place to go, Yuugi fluffled up a nearby lump of clouds and decided to see how cloud-watching differed when done from the other side. The clouds were much whiter, she noticed, and looked a lot taller, though that was probably just because of the angle of her vantage point.

She had gotten used to the argument in the background, like an environmental noise, and she didn't notice at first when it subsided and died.

With caution, she repeated her knock on the weathered door and this time Tenshi's voice beckoned her in. She took off her geta again and poked her head into the living room.

Tenshii was sitting on the couch, calmly, with her hand folded on her lap. The place, while still messy, was a lot tidier, and Tenshii put together somea pile of dsisparate magazines and into s stack and then moved them under the table.

“Hello, Yuugi, was it? Nice to meet

“Heya Tenshii. We've met before. Briefly,”

“Of course, of course." Tenshii waved at her abode. "Well, what brings you to my humble cloud?”

“I, ah, had something I wan'ned to a get a second opinion on. I was lookin' fer Suika, 'cause ya know, shee's known me fer a long time, and maybe this was one of those 'know me better than i know mahself' kind of sitiations, ya?"

Tenshii nodded sagely. “Yes, yes. Often others know us better than we know ourselves. It is because they can form an opinion detached from emotional biasis." Tenshii inhaled deeply and then exhaled slowly.

“However,” she motioned to the back of he house, where the ruffling of papers and the brushing of a broom could be heard over the frantic squeaks of the petite demon, “Suika's doing her chores and is currently unavailable. You're free to wait, if you like. Actually, that reminds me. Suika, dear?

Instanly the Oni marched into the room. She approached the table and bowed, gracelessly, “Yes, my angel?”

“Do be a dear and put on some tea for our guest. Without alcohol, if you please."

“Of course!” Suika saluted, missing her face. She disappeared into the kitchen and a light clanging of pots could be heard. Yuugi wondered if Suika already forgot what a tea kettle looked like and was clamoring around the entire pantry for one not stained with alcohol.

“But perhaps I could offer some help. I know we don't know each other that well but, of course, Suika's friends are my friends. And I like using my power to help people,” she smiled the smile that good guys did when they were being good and being smug about it too, tha bastards. “And I like to think I'm not terrible at it.”

Yuugi nodded slowly, considering whether to do so. This was a personal dilemma, after all, and Tenshi had her own problems. But, again, any port in a storm “It's, ah, 'bout relationships. And I don't wanna rock the boat when it comes to ya and Suika. 's not ma place to get invovled."

Tenshii, to Yuugis' surprise, simply la out a hand to her mouth and laughed. “I wouldn't worry. I know Suika and I fight a lot, but we’re working on it. Relationships are a work in progress. You have to constantly put effort into them or they die. Like gardens, or empires."

“Really?” Yuugi cogitated. Remilia didn't make it sound like that at all. And she never heard anything strained coming from Satori and her weird relationship. But 

“Yeah, really.” Tenshi closed her eyes and puffed out her chest. “Love is a work in progress, always . Any to people can make a relationship work, because of one simple fact.”

Yuugi wondered if she was supposed to ask what it was, but Tenshii continued completely nonplussed after a moment of silence. The sounds of Suika trying to make tea deflated some of the gravitas Yuugi thought Tenshii was going for. 

“People change. For better or for worse. The unenlightened stagnate and fester. The enlightened strive towards perfection. It is a continual struggle, though, because ones understanding of perfection evolves alongside oneself."

“It's the same with relationships. No two people start out perfect for each other, though some are closer than others. You have to work towards a better understanding of your partner. But often people allow themselves to change in the kinds of ways that drive them apart A lot of people get out of relationships after a while because they 'didn't work' or that 'they weren't right for each other'.That's just them saying that they weren't willing ot put in the effort ot make it work. Everyone changes, for good or for ill. Everybody should strive towards perfection, and in a relationship, you have to make sure you and your partner don't change for the worse." 

Ah. Yuugi remembered that this was why she didn't like Tenshii. All good guys were the same, all proselytizing and preaching and hypocrisy. They say they were tolerant, but they can't just let 'bad guys' be who they want to be. Yuugi gave it three hours before Suika started drinking again.

Yuugi only nodded, though. Thankfully, before the silence lingered long enough to demand a response, Suika bumbled in with a tray of tea. She put it down on the cofee table and then, teary-eyed and hands shaky, sat down on the Tenshii's lap and encircled her arms around the taller woman's neck. Suika nuzzled the crook of Tenshi's neck and mumbled something. Tenshi ruffled Suika's hair and smooched her forehead.

“Thank you sweetie,” said Tenshi. Maneuvering around her hanger on she offered Yuugi a cup of tea. It was the same cup that Suika offered Yuugi when they had sake earlier, though it seemed to have been thoroughly rinsed of alcohol.

The rest of the conversation was profoundly unhelpful. Half the time Suika did insufferable couple things at her tamer, and everything she said was the kind of stuff you say when yer gramma's looking over your shoulder. Even the smalltalk was laced with suck-up. 

Yuugi made an excuse to leave, and thanked the pair for the tea trying to hide her displeasure at having consumed a disappointingly insufficient amount of alcohol.

“Back in Former hell right?" said Tenshii. "Isn't that a long walk?

Yuugi shrugged. It was, but whatever. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Well, if you'd like, I may be able to help with that."

Yuugi raised an eyebrow. 

“I know Yukari. She's, well, sort of like my boss. Not exactly, but I can ask her for a favour, for my honey's best friend.” She nuzzled Suika's horns. 

That was incredibly nice, and super convenient. Yuugi rubbed that back of her head. "Oh, yeah, if it's not too much trouble. " That was good guys for you, always trying to make you feel like a dick. 

“Of course,” Tenshii bowed theatrically. “I would be honored to help you out."

She pulled out her cellphone and pushed a button. 

“Hey Yukari?”

Angry mumbles.

“I know, I know, but -"

More mumbles.

“Yes, but-

Exasperated mumbles. 

“I'm trying to be nice here. There's an oni here who needs fast transit back to former hell."

Silence.

Mumbles again.

“Yeah."

Inquisitive mumbles.

“Yeah."

Suika dopily grabbed the phone from Tenshii. “Heeeeey Yukari!”

Tenshii turned red for a split second but was interrupted by surprised mumbles from the phone. Then she looked shocked.

“Yeah, Long time no see!”

Excited mumbles. 

“Oh, we're dating."

Incredulous mumbles. 

“Yeah, we're super in love."

Laughter. Suika blushed. More mumbles.

“Yeah! That sounds great, I'll let her know."

Suika turned to Yuugi. "So relax your jaw and try not to think of euclidean geometry," she slurred.

Before Yuugi could ask for clarification, Reality shattered in a small oval, tied off with ribbons at the zenith and nadir. 

“Hey there,” said a tall blond woman from out of a portal. She wore a nightcap with a red bow and a dress that was one piece but was cut to make it look like she had a long coat. She had a flowery umbrella. This was Yukari Yakumo, the self-styled goddess of boundaries. 

Yukari waved at Suika, who waved back a little too enthusiastically. Tenshii looked torn between composure and confusion.

The goddess reached a hand out to Yuugi, who took it and allowed herself to not exist in conventional reality. Yuugi gave one last wave to the doomed lovers, and felt bad for Suika as she left, but it was her own fault for not telling her girlfriend she used to date her girlfriend's boss.

-Don't look at the void, don't look at the void, don't look at the void-

Yukari smiled a sly smile as she waved “Thank you for traveling with Yukari Yakumo. Please keep all limbs and limb-analogs inside the constructed reality at all times. If you ever feel the need to make an emergency exit for any reason, good luck surviving in the ineffable void between worlds. ”

Yuugi tried to focus on the woman in front of her. Yukari seemed to sense Yuugi's discomfort and waved her arms a little faster. Probably had some reason to do so, ya?

“So where to?” said Yukari.

“Uh, former hell. Actually, can you do the Palace of the Earth Spirits?”

“Sure thing! Former hell, huh? That's a long way away. What brings you up to heaven?”

“Ah, y'know. Just needed some advice from my best friend.”

"Love advice?'

Yuugi blushed. "How'd ya know?"

"It's all everyone does here, really." Yukari tapped her nose. She then tore open a ribboned portal in front of her and bid Yuugi step through. 

"Oh! and have some Yakumo Co. Latex barriers and internal condoms,” Yukari pressed several foil-wrapped squares into Yuugi's hand. “And some polyisoprene ones, if you're allergic to latex. Be safe!" 

The echos of laughter remained a while after the portal closed, or maybe that was just the blood rushing to Yuugi's face as she found she'd temporarily lost the ability to speak.

 

 //---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Parsee sat under the bridge between Gensoukyou and the underworld and …

Hated?

Yes. Hated that she was thinking about that stupid Oni. Still. It had been, like, two days, and she still couldn't get Yuugi out of her head. That stupid, naive and reckless smile and the promise that would inevitably get broken.

She wanted to date her? Why would she want that? What would they do? What would they talk about?

And did Parsee even want that? She had a good routine down; wake up, hate everything, attempt to murder people trying to cross her bridge, hate herself to sleep. Pretty busy workday, really, and not a lot of flexibility for a relationship.

And Parsee knew she wasn't the most funny or attractive or interesting Youkai around. Yuugi could do so much better. Why would she want to date her?

Well, she was now thinking in circles. Time to ask someone else's opinion. And Parsee knew exactly one other person within, uh, transportation distance.

The landscape changed. Parsee's bridge now sat in a cave.

A bucket girl floated int the river, spinning idly and singing to herself.

“Hey, uh, Kisume,” shouted Parsee from her riverbank.

Kisume stopped he sining and turned to Parsee. She managed to put on a smile and began floating towards her. “Hey Parsee.” She said, “ What's, uh, what's going on?”

“So I know you don't really like me...” began Parsee, diplomatically.

“That's, uh, not completely true.” Kisume looked sideways.

Parsee pursed her lips and tilted her head forward and glared for a second. “But I was wondering if I could ask you for some advice,” she finished.

“Yeah! Yeah, I'm, uh, happy to help. Anytime. Aha.” Kisume fitted.

“It's about relationships.”

“Oh.” Kisume made eye contact. "What about them.”

Parsee looked int othe distance. How was she going to go about this? She was beginning to reconsider. I mean, it's not like she was  _close_ friends with Kisame. Did she really want to open up to her?

“It's been a while, for me,” Parsee managed to say. "So I may have forgotten how to go about it."

Kisame raised her eyebrows. “A while? I wouldn't have figured you to have ever- Oh! Oh. That's right. Hashihime.” She slapped her forehead. Youkai were supposed to be more sensitive to the circumstances of their fellow Youkai. “Sorry, I didn't meant to- sorry. Sorry.”

Parsee pursed her lips and glared again. Kisume shifted uncomfortably.

“Well,” said Parsee, “I was wondering if they're worth it.”

“I don't know if I can answer that for you. Since your last one ended, um,” stuttered Kisume. She stopped herself from slapping herself again. Parsee's eyebrows dropped in annoyance.

“Well, since your last one caused you to become a Hashihime,” Kisume ended up slapping herself, “I'm sure your experiences with relationships are that, no, they're not worth it,”

Slap.

“But!" Kisume waved the air, "I'm not supposed to say that, though. I'm supposed to believe in love, and stuff, right?”

Parsee's mouth was a thin, flat line. Her eyebrows were completely flat and low over her eyes. This was a mistake. She turned to the river of souls because she was tired of glaring at the bucket Youkai.

“So, uh, umm.” Kisume tried to say.

“Something simpler, then,” said Parsee. She looked out over the . “How'd you and Yamame fall in love?”

Maybe that was a little inappropriate. Parsee didn't care. 

“Well,” Kisame rubbed her chin. “We live near each other. We're attracted to each other. We both get lonely sometimes. We both eat people. It's not that complicated."

Parsee nodded and cogitated.

“But, uhh, I wouldn't say we're in love, exactly.“

“What?" Parsee momentarily forgot she was trying to be surly. "Then why are you dating?”

“Look, relationships don't have to be all or nothing. And as long as both parties involved accept that they're not going to get married or anything then you can still have fun and stuff.”

“Have fun?”

“Yeah."

Parsee tapped her fingers on her bedroll and picked a particularly gnarly stalactite to admire as she processed that information.

"Alright then. What do you do?”

“For fun?” Kisame's cheeks reddened.

“In general. What is it like?”

Parsee remembered tortured glimpses of her mortal life. Walks, cuddles, smooches and caresses. Rose bouquets and walking together in the rain under a single umbrella. The rose tinted haze she looked through the world with because she was in love and nothing could be bad, nothing could be less than beautiful.

And then betrayal. Loss. Heartbreak, so bad she felt herself tearing apart inside. The world faded away into meaningless, and when she could no longer endure the pain it took only one more pain to make the pain, and the entire world, fade away entirely.

But Parsee didn't remember much of the actual dating. Not much of the little affairs. Not much that would let her decide if she wanted to go on a date with Yuugi.

Maybe come a week she could just pretend not to be here? No, that wouldn't work; there was only one exit to hell, and she couldn't stray to far from it. 

“I dunno. We'll hang out sometime. Have dinner with each other. Go shopping together. Just day to day stuff, except we do it with each other, and it's a little more special because of it."

Parsee nodded. “But my day to day is a little less exciting than that.” She gesture to the extent of her world. 

“I- I see. But, uh, if its with someone you like, anything can be a date."

"Really?"

Kisume shrugged. "Probably."

Hmmmmm.

Parsee bid farewell to the bucket girl, who seemed relieved that she wouldn't inadvertently offend anymore. The Hashihime then lay on her bedroll and told herself she'd only asked because she was curious. It's not like someone as strong and beautiful and nice and warm as Yuugi would settle for her, but once or twice she considered what their dates might be like. 

 


End file.
